Hi Guys and Gals,
This is kind of a vent post... Feel free to comment if you'd like.
I have a father and a mother, but like a lot of American families, they're no longer married. They divorced when I was 8, and I lived with my father. I adore my mother and she has a wonderful new husband who has been like a father to me. No worries there.
My father and I, however, rarely speak, have a rocky history at best, and well, he's married to the only person in the world that I hate. I grew up under my father's roof, and she was there. To save time, I'll sum it up with: Grownig up, this woman made me feel as though I'd never be happy, never get married, never be sucessful, and should really just off myself and get it over and done with - that the world would be better off without me.
I moved out of that house 3 days after I turned 18, and never looked back. Now, at 25, this woman can still get to me psycologically. I'm freaking out about my brother's wedding (silently, of course) because she will be there - this is 2 months from now. I've been having dreams every night about it - and I'm not necessarily focused on it during the day. It's just my subconceous.
But at MY wedding next year, she 's not going to be invited. I am waiting to tell my father this until after my brother's wedding - I don't want to ruin anything. I am apprehensive to tell my father that his wife is not invited, because I know that he may not come to the wedding if that's the case.
I'm okay with that.... So why am I feeling guilty about it? Is it really so horrible not to invite someone you HATE to your wedding? I mean, with the way she treated me growing up, why should I include her at my most intimate, vunerable moment? I have tons of reasons not to invite her... So why am I feeling bad about it? Because it's not proper? Argh.
Thanks for letting me vent here!
-Jess