I thought we asked...

aworthman

When I was trying to finalize the guest list, I asked my fiance to get the names and addresses from his mother that she wanted to invite.  He brought me home an address book filled with family and some friends...I assumed that was her list (I needed the family addresses anyway).  Come to find out, 3.5 weeks before the wedding, that she's upset because "I never checked with her (and neither did my mom who was printing the invites) to see if there was anyone that she wanted to invite."  I thought that's what her son was doing?!  He told me about this yesterday, and then listed a few of her employees that should be at the wedding - I wanted to respond "well, the ladies got an invite at work and it said they could bring a guest.  I guess if they were closer they would have been in the address book." ...but I kept it to myself.  I know she doesn't hate me, but I am sure she's upset with me...any tips on what to say/do?

loveshine1

That is not your problem.

hmonkey

tell your fi that this is his problem to solve and to stop bothering you about it.

kpwedkk

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_thought-asked?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:54d56265-dd3a-45ee-a9cc-f517f61416ebPost:959f70f5-5d71-4eba-9bbc-c38912a9a6a4">I thought we asked...</a>:
[QUOTE]When I was trying to finalize the guest list, I asked my fiance to get the names and addresses from his mother that she wanted to invite.  He brought me home an address book filled with family and some friends...I assumed that was her list (I needed the family addresses anyway). 

Come to find out, 3.5 weeks before the wedding, that she's upset because "I never checked with her (and neither did my mom who was printing the invites) to see if there was anyone that she wanted to invite."  I thought that's what her son was doing?!  He told me about this yesterday, and then listed a few of her employees that should be at the wedding - I wanted to respond "well, the ladies got an invite at work and it said they could bring a guest.

 I guess if they were closer they would have been in the address book." ...but I kept it to myself.  I know she doesn't hate me, but I am sure she's upset with me...any tips on what to say/do?
Posted by aworthman[/QUOTE]

What's done is done.  The guests have been finalized.  If there are any cancellations, and you do need to fill up the spots, then you might consider asking your FMIL if she wants to invite someone at the last minute - You are going over graciously polite though, and it was up to your FI to provide the final numbers in a timely manner.

Talk to your FI, and let him handle his Mom.

aworthman

Thank you...I sometimes take things a lot more to heart than I should.  I know we're all stressed and ready for the wedding day to be here.

kpwedkk

You are most welcome - your wedding day will be here fast

aworthman

That it will...25 days (and to top off today - which was a "no good, bad, awful day" I saw on facebook that the place that is doing our tuxes was going out of business the week before our wedding.  I called, got some information, but not much, so my mom went down and talked to the owner...luckily, she's going to continue doing them through at least January or else she'd have to pay for them out of her own pocket.)

tombraider21

Your not the only one this has happened too. I asked my FMIL for addresses of people she wanted to invite/send STD too, she did and she put her work address at the very bottom. I thought WTF, she couldnt give me the names and addresses of co-workers. So, next time I saw her, I handed her a stack of STDs and told her she can give those out to people she wanted to invite from her work place.
The other knotties are right, whats done is done. Nothing can be changed now.

Heffalump

I agree with Hmo.  This is between your FI and his mom--let them hash it out.