Reception Site Coordinator is uncooperative. HELP!

esalib

My fiance and I are planning (and paying for it ourselves) our wedding in about 6 months - we are at the 3 months left mark. Because we planned our wedding with such sort notice, we negotiated an AMAZING deal with the general manager of our reception site. It was really a dream come true. This site is has been a Best of the Knot & Wedding Wire for several years and the manager was so kind. He empathized with our financial situation and said he'd rather book someone at a lower rate then no one at all.

The reception site events coordinator was obviously displeased with the situation. We suspect it cut heavily into her commission and she's been on and off passive aggressive to me. She sometimes takes several days to respond to my emails and when we were trying to schedule the tasting, she didn't respond at all. When I followed up a few days before we wanted to do the tasting, she blamed ME for not giving her a definite answer on when we wanted to come in. She said that she was waiting for me to tell her when exactly we would come in. At other times she demands an immediate answer to her emails. We finally met her at the tasting and she was generally pleasant but overall I feel like she puts us at the very bottom of her priority list.

My fiance spoke to her about communication in a very polite way but she's still taking sometimes even 4 days to respond. Then telling us that her days are fully booked and she has no time to meet us. She makes it apparent that she's too busy to deal with us and she's squeezing us in. I'm really concerned that our wedding will be less than satisfactory and I'm regretting signing the contract with this site. We are planning the wedding from out of state so it's not easy for us to just come in for meetings.

Any suggestions??

DG1

Why did you deal with the GM instead of her? Are you friends or something? If so, I might bring it up with him.

tawillers

Ditto DG.  Have you discussed this with the GM?

esalib

The coordinator was unavailable to meet with us when we were supposed to tour the site. The GM volunteered to show us around and we worked out the contract with him. Once that was set, it was handed back to the coordinator.

Wzz

when is your wedding? that might have something to do with where it is on the coordinator's list of priorities.

6fsn

If you don't like the way she's handling things then certainly discuss things with the GM.  That said, I'm not sure 4 days is an exceptionally long time for a response. 

esalib

The wedding is in 3 months. We should be a pretty high priority at this point.

What exactly would I say to the GM? It's not easy to provide evidence of passive aggressivenss. She hasn't been outright rude or said anything obviously offensive.

esalib

I'm not particularly thrilled about having my email blown off and then being told over email & in person it was my fault she didn't respond.

If I'm being overly sensitive, then please let me know! I'd love to blow this off as nothing and would love to stop stressing about it!

6fsn

Unless we know the actual e-mail exchange it's hard to say who is in the right.  Also, you mentioned the woman is not responding to you.  Tell the GM that. 

6fsn

And really, I think I talked to my reception venue no more than a few times.  What sorts of things are you wanting that she isn't responding too?

JaxInBlue

I think 6 might be on the right track.  I know three months out seems pretty soon to you, but if this is a venue with a lot of other weddings and functions, you may not be on her radar until much closer.  DH and I only talked with our venue twice after we signed the contract and before we were a month out - once to show my ILs the place and a second time to set the menu.  We communicated more in the final month - confirming time frame and headcount, approving room set up and linens, etc. 

I don't think four days to return an email is a long time if this person has an irregular schedule and may have to work away from her computer when she is monitoring event staff or is working on the weekends or later at night.

If you are unhappy with the service you are getting, you have every right to take your concerns to the GM or the person who set up your contract, but I also think you might want to think back over your communications and see if there is a way you could communicate more concisely with the coordinator - maybe something like keeping a list of questions you have over a business week and sending one email.  You may also want to see if your venue has an event checklist that they follow, which would lead the coordinator to looking for information for you at specific times.

Wzz

ditto 6 - i also don't remember needing to talk with the venue very often.

i also agree you have every right to speak with the GM if you know that you need a response in a certain timeframe and the coordinator is not getting back to you when she promises.

esalib

Thanks everyone. There hasn't been too much communication. When we were reviewing the contract with her, she openly voiced her frustration about how the contract was structured (since the GM made the contract, it wasn't done the way she likes it), the pricing, and with the GM.

This really set a bad taste in my mouth since I didn't feel it was my fault she was frustrated over the situation. I felt it was pretty unprofessional for her to be discussing her frustration with me since we were the clients.

Since then we've just been communicating about the tasting and scheduling the final details meeting. She's wanted to schedule these things sooner instead of later but I still feel some of that hostility. I agree that 4 days isn't a huge amount of time, but to go from demanding immediate answers to her questions, to responding several days later or not at all felt very passive agressive to me.