Wedding Woes

dad's proposal?

I am about ready to slap every single person on my dad's side of the family...
It's just one thing after another with them... lets start here:

I never have been close with my dad, and didnt meet him till I was 10, ( he has been with my half sister since the day she was born)

My dad lives 5.5 hours away and I don't see him often because i'm a broke college student and he always slaps that in my face

My dad's side of the family is always saying how I should just get over the fact that he didnt want anything to do with me until I was 10, and now that I am engaged they think they can put their input in on our wedding and say that I am a selfish snot who can't get over myself and just forgive my dad and get over it.

 I dont feel we have a healthy relationship, at all... and THIS was my last straw with him:

Yesterday was my HALF sisters birthday= (same dad different moms, we were born 3 days apart, he birthday the 12th and mine the 15th of november)
my dad has always favored my sister, and so he proposed to his girlfriend yesterday as a birthday present to her...can you say slap in the face????

I have put up with drama from them my whole life and am done, I am seriously considering not inviting any of them to our wedding because I am not gunna be blamed for everything and I want our day to be filled with joy and people who care about us, which clearly my dad's side doesn't...


Re: dad's proposal?

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    KarenofcourseKarenofcourse member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Smacker, I am sorry you are going through this but I think you are looking at it all wrong:  this proposal just proves what type of person he is.  What mature adult proposes to someone as a b-day gft to someone else?  He has shown he has a problem with committment (first, two pregnant with his kids at same time, he ditches you for the first decade of your life, can't stay with 1/2 sister's mom and now gets engaged to someone else on his daughter's bday?)  Now, everytime your half sister's bday rolls around, she will think about the proposal, whether or nt this results in a til death do us part. 

    I know it hurts-my bio mom ditched me when I was five and would pick strategic times to try to reconnect.  Like every five years until I was 25.  Some people are just born evil and karma bites them!!
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    edited December 2011
    Ditto Karen.  Big internet hugs b/c your dad sounds like a tool.
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    MadisonpennyMadisonpenny member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm living a similar situation, however its not my dad, but part of his side of the family (his neices and they're family in particular among other people).  I'm not inviting them to my wedding.  I gave my dad a heads up to see how he felt about this and this was his response:
     "Andrea, its your wedding... if you don't want them there, then F*ck them, don't invite them"
    Guess I'm lucky my dad is pretty cool that way.

    I would say do the same thing, if you don't want someone there, don't invite them (as long as you haven't sent out STDs yet)

    A wedding is meant to celebrate a union, and the last thing you need are people who are only there to mooch off of you and rain on your parade.
    . Anniversary aandt image
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    GBCKGBCK member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    wos, dad's wife must be willing to put up w/ a lot of shiit from someone--being proposed to as a present for SOMEONE ELSE?

    He doesn't exactly sound like a decent person that you should want in your life.
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    ElleB87ElleB87 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    Your dad sounds like a major jackass and so does his family.  You are not obligated in any way,shape or form to forgive him or "get over" him abandoning you until it was convenient for him to be a part of your life.  From what you've said it sounds like he some serious entitlement issues and thinks his presence is a gift to all those around him.  I'm all for keeping drama llama's off the guest list but keep in mind that it would most likely permanently sever your relationship with your father and his family.  It's a pretty crappy situation all around for you. Best of luck.

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    DG1DG1 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Agreed. Why are you even considering including these people in your wedding?

    Blood relationships are really irrelevant if they involve assholes who make you feel horrible, you know?

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    smackerlandsmackerland member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Seriously can't thank all of you for saying all those things and supporting me! :)

    you are ALL right in saying my "father" is a tool, jackass,drama llama and thinks he's the best thing since sliced bread..

    I know that at the end of the day, if I dont invite him our relationship is done, but to be honest it never was there to begin with. I've made it this far without him. I also know that there will be hard feelings on their end, and thats just too damn bad for them!

    I will not be inviting them to ourwedding, and we will have a fantastic day surrounded by people who love us and care about us!
     Thank you SO much, again!
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