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etiquette question

do you feel it is rude to ask people to take off their shoes once they enter your house?

if you feel it is rude, do you feel it would be less rude to offer them some slippers while they are inside?

please note -- it is not a requirement; obviously, if someone gets all bartleby and "i prefer not to," bfd, but generally, you prefer people to be shoeless in your home.
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Re: etiquette question

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    edited December 2011
    I've never given it a second thought when people have asked me to take off my shoes. 
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    ~~Busy.~~~~Busy.~~ member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    Nope, not rude.  But you should give people a heads up who might not be used to this sort of thing.

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    ReturnOfKuusReturnOfKuus member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    This is a debate that gets heated on The Nest.
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    hmonkeyhmonkey member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011

    of course it does, kuus.  those ignorant idiots and their first world problems.

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    edited December 2011
    It depends on who it is. If it's family, then I don't mind asking them to take off their shoes. Most of them know I'm already going to ask and do it anyways.
    If it's my neighbors or pastor of the church we went to awhile back...I'm not going to ask them to take off their shoes. Feels weird.

    In the summer I don't care as much.
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    6fsn6fsn member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I do not find it rude.  I prefer people take their shoes off, but I've never been gutsy enough to say it.  MIL puts her shoes on first thing in the am and wears them until she goes to bed. 
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    hmonkeyhmonkey member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011

    i've never asked -- most people look at the pil of shoes by the door and just do it themselves.  sometimes they do, sometimes they don't.

    OH WAIT, KUUS -- are people being all "i don't want people tracking in dirt and other things onto the floor where my precious baby golden child plays!  it will give him autism!"

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    VarunaTTVarunaTT member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    I think my mouth would probably fall open if someone asked me this.  I mean, I'd do it, but I probably wouldn't go back over to their house.  I like my shoes and wear them for a reason.  Also, I don't like seeing anyone's feet, socked or not.  That's why man makes pretty shoes.  And WTF, carpet is made to be walked on.

    Another reason to be glad of my all hardwood house, I guess.
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    ReturnOfKuusReturnOfKuus member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    No, weirdly enough, people are uber-insulted when they're asked to remove their shoes as though the hosts are saying that their shoes are made of evil. 
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    VarunaTTVarunaTT member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    I'd just think they were weird.  Plus, I'd be worried about shoes/feet stinking, whether or not I had socks, if my toes were done, etc.  This is why I wouldn't go back.  No failureon the hosts parts, just my own neuroticisms.
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    L_WoodsL_Woods member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We don't ask people, but our shoes are generally in a pile by the door, so often people say "oh, you want me to take off my shoes?" as they are taking them off. But if someone didn't mention it (most likely because they don't want to take their shoes off) we don't say anything.

    I don't care one way or the other. I wouldn't take my shoes off, even at home, if Man wasn't weird about our carpet.
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    6fsn6fsn member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011

    I wish MIL would take hers off when she comes in from playing with the kid.  Especially when it's muddy.  It's easier to clean the rug in front of the door then the spots throughout the house.

    On the flip side, I know it drives sFIL batty that I take my shoes off when we are over there.  Even if it's 10 pm he hates to see shoes off.  Tough noogies.

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    jojobrnjojobrn member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I prefer to be without my shoes on, so by our front door is where my shoes especially tend to live. I don't ask guests, but most see my shoes and kick theirs off as well. And I tend to follow the trend when I am at someone else's home, whatever they seem to prefer is fine with me. I also don't see a problem in asking someone to kick their shoes off is that what your house does.
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    *Barbie**Barbie* member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    i'd prefer if people took their shoes off, but since our floor is wood/tile on basically all of the first floor it/s not as big of a deal. i don't ask, but if someone asked me if they should, i would say yes. 

    i only enforce with DK cause he'll track dirt all over the place when he takes the dogs out.
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    TheDuckisTheDuckis member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I've never thought of it as rude, per se, but I do find it annoying. I know someone who has a strict no shoes rule. Even at dinner parties everyone must be barefoot. That's weird, I'm sorry. Also, this person has a dog. I can't wear shoes in your house, but that thing's butt is all over your furniture? Okay.
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    edited December 2011
    oh yeah, I don't ask at parties or when there's more than a few people over. I don't want my house smelling like foot stink and sweat, and my guests worried about holes in their socks. I would find that weird.

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    DanielleZZDanielleZZ member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    1. When people come to my house I let them decide, they are the guest so whatever makes them comfortable.
    2. If I am at someone's house and then ask me to take my shoes off I have no problem doing so.
    3. If I go to someone's house and they don't mention anything I ask them if i should take my shoes off.
    4. If I am going to the house of someone close to me who I know likes shoes off I bring my own slippers.
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    edited December 2011
    if I ever did this I would have nice clean newer looking slippers on one side of the door and shoes lined up on the other and wear similar looking slippers myself when guests came over. Gets the message across and I wouldn't have to ask. People would notice and I think most would remove their shoes, but if they were too uncomfortable with the idea (physically or just embarassed of their feet or something) they wouldn't feel obligated or on the spot.

    But I don't think I'll ever do this, because I feel like you have to have your house Martha-Stewart clean to do it. I don't mind a house that isn't 100% spick-and-span but if your floor has its own problems, I'd side-eye you asking me to take off my carefully-wiped shoes.
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    edited December 2011
    I spent a year living in Thailand, and I had to get used to being barefoot while being at work, let alone being at home.  It took a lot of time to get used to, but now it just feels wrong to wear shoes inside the home.  

    And yes, sometimes I take off my shoes while teaching without even thinking about it.  Fortunately, the kids don't seem to mind and have clearly added it to the list of "weird, yet entertaining things that Ms. so-and-so does".  

    As far as having people in our home, I've never asked anyone to remove their shoes, but like some PP's have said, once they see our shoe rack, they generally remove theirs as well.  It doesn't concern me if anyone does or does not wear shoes in my house, but it just feels wrong for me to do so!  It's always a little bit weird for me to wear shoes in someone else's house too.

    In short - Thailand made me weird about shoes.
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    RhymeReasonRhymeReason member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I've only asked once for a party and it was because it was the winter, with snow, sand and salt on the ground. I was trying to avoid puddles & scratches on the floor. DH & I usually do it when we walk in the door anyway. But aside from that no.
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    doeie04doeie04 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I always remove my shoes. I think it is rude to walk into someone's house with your shoes on. Just how we were raised, I guess. I am not the Shoe Police at our house, though. Most people take them off automatically when they see our shoes in the entryway. But if they don't, no big deal. We have hardwoods so it is easy to clean. I think it would be different if we had light colored carpet.
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    lilcasserslilcassers member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Of course it is not rude. It's your flippin house and work hard to keep it clean.
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