SMDH

TheMrsC23

Dear Prudence,
I’m an attorney with a mountain of student and credit card debt. Before I got married, I told my wife about this, but thought I owed about $100,000. It turns out to be about $170,000. When I finally added up the total eight months ago and told her, she accused me of lying previously. My job barely pays me enough to cover our monthly expenses, but I’m supposed to be moving up. I continually look for new jobs and am trying to advance in my company, but that takes time. My wife is in her early 30s and is desperate to have kids and buy our own home, but she insists we can't because of our financial situation. When I have gone to interviews and was not hired, she blamed me for doing something wrong to blow it. A few days ago she found out one of her friends had a couple interviews for a much higher paying job. She became extremely frustrated, insulted my work ethic, and now won't speak to me. I don't know what to do. Should I stay in a relationship that is this unsupportive?

—No Pots to Piss in

Wzz

i'm wondering if most attorneys have this financial issue, or he is just a bad attorney.

and the wife, my goodness. what a horrid woman. i bet she eats his sandwich after she eats hers because she is mad at him. (i told that story once, i know i did.)

TheMrsC23

I don't remember that story, Wzz.   Tell it again, please. 

Wzz

the story is short.

we were in the backseat, and the other couple was in the front. we stopped for sandwiches on our way to some place. it was so many years ago, i forget where we were headed. the husband (boyfriend at the time, this was before they were even engaged) came out with two sandwiches. he had one for her, with specifically what she wanted on it, and one for himself. the main difference was his sandwich had red roasted peppers on it.

she became so mad that her sandwich didn't have peppers on it. he reminded her that she didn't ask for peppers, and offered to switch sandwiches. she told him no, she was going to eat her sandwich and then eat his. she did it on the drive. ate both damn sandwiches.

VarunaTT

Wow @Wzz.

If she was so interested in his financial picture specifics, she should've asked for a spreadsheet.  

And most beginning attorneys do have a mountain load of debt.  Even if you get a scholarship to cover everything, most law schools require you to sign a contract that you won't work for at least the first year.  So, you have to take out student loans just to cover livign expenses.  We can live pretty cheap, but taking out loans with no income coming in can add up pretty quickly.  Since most people only get partial scholarships, it can add up pretty quickly.  Once you start looking at median salaries of beginning attorneys, it can be a pretty grim picture.  $60K/year (median for my state) doesn't stretch nearly as far as you think with a $500-$600 payment.

tawillers

OMG, wzz.  How awkward was the rest of that trip?  I'd have done the "let's bailout" head-nod to DH and taken our chances.

Wzz

trey awkward. i'm surprised at how many times things like this happened, and we happened to stick around and continue to go places with this.