This is seriously sticking in my craw not crawl, Adurr ~long~

VarunaTT

My little chapter is really struggling.  We've yet to have any sort of regular attendance at meetings.  In hope of shoring up things, we've started inviting in speakers who have a subject matter that fits in with the national mission somehow.  For this last one, we get a speaker in with a speciality that corresponds to national NOW's "Love Your Body" month.

We get this e-mail from a member (who has attended 2/7 meetings):

Sorry, I will not make this meeting. I am not interested in this topic at this time. Would rather have a speaker discussing this very important election and what needs to be done in these few day before the election, or on issues such as the controversy on equal pay and voter barriers. Thanks for the notice

I'm just pissed off.  Both the president and I racked our brains (since we still have no other officers for contacts/ideas and no members have responded to multiple e-mails/FB posts or are at meetings for discussion) for local "political" types and contacted them.  Being so close to an important election, the contacted ones didn't want to speak with us b/c we couldn't guarantee more than 2 people at the meeting.  That's completely understandable to me.  Also, we are "non-partisan" and while NOW has endorsed Obama/Biden, they have not endorsed a close local politician and are not endorsing McCaskill for various reasons, though they officially support voting for her.  So most of those campaigns were a no-go.

We have been contacted by many groups re:volunteering and protests.  However, most of these happen during the weekday when both the president and I work.  Since no one else regularly attends meetings to discuss these opportunities and neither one of us can take time off to go to all of this stuff (she's a full time senior student with a senior art show coming up as well as working a part time job), we've refused volunteering or other demonstrations as the organization so that people aren't relying on NOW members showing up.

My response:

I'll be sure to add your lists of interests to the others we've received from the group.  Thank you for letting us know.  

As it was national NOW's month to celebrate "Love Your Body" and Dr. X was willing to speak at our meeting, this was what the officers chose to do with the group's time.  Unfortunately, many of the political speakers we contacted in the past 2-3 months were unwilling to donate their time to a group that couldn't guarantee a certain number of people to hear their message so close to the election; an understandable position.

As for what needs to be done in the few days before the election, I'm sure the Democratic (or Republican as we are non-partisan to our members) Party Headquarters would be more than willing to have another volunteer on hand for GOTV drives and canvassing.  I would suggest contacting them if you're interested in pursuing action before the election.  Again, since our chapter has yet to have any sort of regular meeting attendees to discuss volunteering and/or group actions, the officers of the chapter felt unwilling to pursue opportunities to volunteer as a group.

Signed,

Varuna

Is this too snarky?  Should I let it go?  Thoughts?  (GOTV is get out the vote, btw).

dharmabunny

Ehh, I'd tone down the snark and excessive details...too defensive...just mention that you couldn't book political speakers this close to election day, that the group is non partisan and emailer can contact the democratic hq for canvassing opportunities...and that if this person has ideas for speakers and can get one booked, they're more than welcome to do so....let the emailer contribute to the solution instead of whining about the problem.

VarunaTT

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_this-is-seriously-sticking-in-my-crawl-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:5aba781f-7035-4c60-8ae3-91950c11e404Post:93c40607-6448-4c39-b960-573a1f48bcd6">Re:This is seriously sticking in my craw not crawl, Adurr long</a>:
[QUOTE]that if this person has ideas for speakers and can get one booked, they're more than welcome to do so....let the emailer contribute to the solution instead of whining about the problem.
Posted by dharmabunny[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I've had another woman I went to for advice suggest something similar.  Basically a, "You seem to have a lot of input to share with the group, we'd love to see you getting actively involved and coming to meetings".</div><div>
</div><div>I thought about leaving out the details.  I'm of 2 minds which is why I wanted advice.  I

</div><div>I admit, this isn't the first whining we've had from this member, so I'm starting to develop a bad taste for her (she didn't like our original meeting time, we changed it to accomadate her as much as we could, she still doesn't like it).  Which is why I need to iron this out beforehand.  Thanks, Dharma.  </div><div>
</div><div>Anyone else?</div>

AuntFlo

I agree with Dharma.  
Also, it sounds like this woman is never going to be happy, or is always looking for things to complain about, so I wouldn't worry too much with it.    If she gets a rise out of you - that would just encourage her behaviour.

zsazsa-stl

I think the 2nd paragraph is fine.  But get rid of the third and replace it with an inviation to become more involved if she has so many opinions.  like the "You seem to have a lot of input to share with the group, we'd love to see you getting actively involved and coming to meetings" that you suggested above.

It's amazing how people would just prefer to sit back and judge what other people are doing rather than lift a damn finger themselves.

VarunaTT

Revised:

As it was national NOW's month to celebrate "Love Your Body" and Dr. X was available and willing to speak at our meeting, this was what the officers chose to do with the group's time.  

Unfortunately, many of the political speakers we've contacted in the past few months have been unable to give their time to our organization, mainly b/c of the small number of attendees at our meetings. 

I'll be sure to add your list of interests to the others we've received from the other group members.  You seem to have a lot of great input and ideas regarding the direction of our organization.  We'd love to have you become actively involved in helping with the organization in any way possible such as helping book speakers, taking an officer position and/or attending meetings.

I don't think I can let go of snarking her for lack of attendance.  Really, I just want to call her flat out and say that if you're not attending or communicating with us, how are we suppose to know your interests as a member?  And where do you get off not attending or participating and then complaining about what we're doing?  That isn't very political and I know it. So I'm trying to do it w/out really being able to be called out for it.

PMeg819

I don't know, it sounds fine to me. But I'm a giant b!tch so what do I know?

But I do agree about putting the burden back on the original person- if she wants that speaker, she can make the effort to find that person. I would imagine that if they were interested enough and put the leg work in to setting up something, they'd be more vested in helping out in the future.