Disagreeing with my Hubby-to-be

SugarplumandPig

I am a really simple girl. I mean, I love lace and sparkles and outlandish amounts of tulle; but I hate, I hate, I HATE wedding planning. We were going to do a normal wedding, but then decided t hat we were doing it for everybody BUT us. So we came up with this gorgeous plan of going to Las Vegas to get married with just our immediate families. No planning (other than the vacation), no stress, just us. However, my fiance recently asked if it was too late to change it. Now, before I go on, let me just say my future husband is kind, selfless, generous, a wonderful listener, the perfect gentleman STILL, and the most wonderfully loving person I have EVER met. Not to mention he's way sexy. I'm telling you, I am marrying a Disney prince. So please don't get the wrong impression of him because if he were a jerk, I'd just have a big argument and get my way. So I would already know what to do. He spent some time with his extended family and he realized how much he loves them and wants them to be a part of our day. So he wants to have the wedding here. He knows I don't love the idea, but I don't know that he's aware that I have lost all desire to plan or to really have anything to do with the wedding. I don't know what to do that is a compromise here, but the show does have to go on....

Knottie_22382102

If the reason to not have it there was because you felt like it wasn't about you, I  would have the wedding locally and make it about the two of you and then go on your honeymoon that is ALSO about the two of you.

If he wants an family-inclusive wedding and expressed that to you in love, then I think that's important to recognize and consider positively. I think you will find that you will find a way to do it and both of you be happy.

What was making it so you didn't feel like it was about you?

Peledreamsofrain

I don't see the problem here.  Just tell him "Sure, we can absolutely have a wedding here.  However, since it's entirely something that you want, then you plan and execute it."

Then sit back and see how long he'll stay on the idea.  

Whatever you do, don't agree to what he's proposing.  We see brides on here all the time who's FI's whine and complain at them until they cave into wedding planning.  Then they're miserable for months, because the guy just abandons them to 'women's work'.

Knottie_22382102

Or plan it together...and with your families if they are available....or hire a wedding planner.

Just because one person doesn't like planning, it doesn't mean that the other's feelings don't count.

FI isn't a big planner and when I got stressed out about planning a wedding at a home, he was trying to help me, our mothers were...eventually I went the route of a venue who could do a lot of things for me.

Ella and Pedro

1, hire a planner, set a budget, tell her/him your theme/colors/ideas and let him/her do it
2. have him do the planning
3. find a venue that is local but 'all inclusive' (they pick decor, have entertainment choices, have a DOC, have pre-designed menu options, have all the staff and rentals covered)
4. do a JOP and then a reception immediately following at a restaurant that does group meals
5. compromise on planning and select half you can do with the least stress, give him the other half since he is the one who really wants to do the wedding this way
6. some combo of the above

SugarplumandPig

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_disagreeing-with-my-hubby-to-be?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:5e3eac04-7ac2-4b2d-9afe-091115aa0775Post:b3ce9bee-aedd-48f1-832d-0dc6dd59afe9">Re: Disagreeing with my Hubby-to-be</a>:
[QUOTE]1, hire a planner, set a budget, tell her/him your theme/colors/ideas and let him/her do it 2. have him do the planning 3. find a venue that is local but 'all inclusive' (they pick decor, have entertainment choices, have a DOC, have pre-designed menu options, have all the staff and rentals covered) 4. do a JOP and then a reception immediately following at a restaurant that does group meals 5. compromise on planning and select half you can do with the least stress, give him the other half since he is the one who really wants to do the wedding this way 6. some combo of the above
Posted by Ella and Pedro[/QUOTE]

Thank you so much! I don't want to just get my way. He's such a wonderful guy and it's his day too, and your ideas really express that. I'm just looking to keep it relaxed for me and fun for him :)  I have looked into some full-service places and it seems like a nice option. I appreciate your ideas.

Ella and Pedro

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_disagreeing-with-my-hubby-to-be?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:5e3eac04-7ac2-4b2d-9afe-091115aa0775Post:3a1c1ba3-9221-46cf-9e8e-f46eef277339">Re: Disagreeing with my Hubby-to-be</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Disagreeing with my Hubby-to-be : Thank you so much! I don't want to just get my way. He's such a wonderful guy and it's his day too, and your ideas really express that. I'm just looking to keep it relaxed for me and fun for him :)  I have looked into some full-service places and it seems like a nice option. I appreciate your ideas.
Posted by SugarplumandPig[/QUOTE]

You are most welcome - and good luck!  I'm sure when it's all done you will both feel you had a wonderful day because you began your married life together - and ultimately - that is what is important.