so fed up!

craigkathyV

we have no idea what to do and need advice! when we first got engaged my parents said they would give us a specific amount of money towards the wedding, this was such a huge help and so unexpected. we planed out wedding budget around that and included what we could afford to spend  coming up with having it where we wanted our top number of guests was 200. that was last year. here is it three months pre wedding and invitations getting addressed and favors already ordered both my FMIL and my mom have added people to the guest list bringing it up to 230. we cant afford to have these people come and im afraid to play the ": well a lot of people wont come anyways" what happens if everyone comes and we are stuck with a bill we cant afford? how do i bring this up in a gentle way with out sounding ungrateful for the generous gift?

also, just a minute for a second bitching session, everytime somone ( my FSIL ) asks what we are planning for something, ie: table numbers, favors, decorations, hairstyles; she says nothing except " can i make a suggestion?" and shows us something completely different than what we wanted or have purchased. why cant she just once say " oh what a great idea"
 
oh my im in full on crazy bride aggrivation mode!

CandCWedding2013

MHO : I think the best bet with the family is to be honest. Sit down and look at the numbers and the budget, since they've offered some money they should know where it's going. If you show them that 230 isn't really possible and discuss who should be cut they might not feel like you're being a bridezilla and ruining their day.  They might look at it and say HOLY youre right, here's more money to cover the people we want or they may say oh, well lets cut here and here. Or they may say that you shouldn't have ordered the expensive ____. 

Either way when you cut people they wont be surprised .

Wzz

so there is no way you can afford to pay the additional cost of those 30 people? then you need to tell your parents and ILs, with your fiance present, that your budget only accomodates 30 people and XX amount of people from their own guest lists will need to be cut. using $100 pp for an exampe, that ends up being an extra $3000, which is a considerable amount of money to just go along with.

although, since your parents are footing some of the bill, i wouldn't be surprised if they expect you to just cut the budget in other places or cut YOUR guests to make up for their added guests. after all, their money is going towards your wedding. they may expect to have more of a say than you do for your wedding guests and details.

AddieCake

Just tell them you can't afford to add any more people.

Wzz

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_so-fed-up?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:5fb3040a-b1f8-4c4f-a64f-f47ebdc7991cPost:469b8356-8395-4b7b-89b6-430cd64374ea">so fed up!</a>:
[QUOTE]we have no idea what to do and need advice! when we first got engaged my parents said they would give us a specific amount of money towards the wedding, this was such a huge help and so unexpected. we planed out wedding budget around that and included what we could afford to spend  coming up with having it where we wanted our top number of guests was 200. that was last year. here is it three months pre wedding and invitations getting addressed and favors already ordered both my FMIL and my mom have added people to the guest list bringing it up to 230. we cant afford to have these people come and im afraid to play the ": well a lot of people wont come anyways" what happens if everyone comes and we are stuck with a bill we cant afford? how do i bring this up in a gentle way with out sounding ungrateful for the generous gift? also, just a minute for a second bitching session, everytime somone ( my FSIL ) asks what we are planning for something, ie: table numbers, favors, decorations, hairstyles; she says nothing except " can i make a suggestion?" and shows us something completely different than what we wanted or have purchased. why cant she just once say " oh what a great idea"   oh my im in full on crazy bride aggrivation mode! :)
Posted by craigkathyV[/QUOTE]

Lyds85

I think you are overstressing on this one! Just be honest with your family and tell them you just cant afford any extra people. its very likely that they will offer to cover the difference or they will understand. also i have notice a lot of family and friends have a lot of suggestions and comments about your wedding that they think are helpful... i just smile and knod and say thats a good idea ill think about it. and then i do what i want Everybody has an opinion...