Need some advice

anneandtyler

I need some advice, while visiting my mother in law she asked if I wanted to see the dress she had purchased for our wedding day. I said of course I would like to see it, not that I need to have a say in what she wears I thought just as I had shared my dress with her she was doing the same. She came out with it on and it looked nice but it is the exact colour of my wedding dress (light ivory) which she has seen. I was speechless and she just gave this snarky smile and said what do you think. I said it looked nice but also slipped in that it was the same colour as my dress, she ignored this comment and left to go change into the dress she has purchased for her other sons wedding which is 3 months after ours. The dress for their wedding is black.  We have always had a great relationship so I'm not sure where this is coming from. I don't know what to do or how to approach her about it.

*Barbie*

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_need-advice-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:677d470f-a0fa-4d9c-a8ea-65ed70541519Post:c22ce1f9-1a2a-496a-89cd-058a7b366dd8">Need some advice</a>:
[QUOTE]I need some advice, while visiting my mother in law she asked if I wanted to see the dress she had purchased for our wedding day. I said of course I would like to see it, not that I need to have a say in what she wears I thought just as I had shared my dress with her she was doing the same. She came out with it on and it looked nice but it is the exact colour of my wedding dress (light ivory) which she has seen. I was speechless and she just gave this snarky smile and said what do you think. I said it looked nice but also slipped in that it was the same colour as my dress, she ignored this comment and left to go change into the dress she has purchased for her other sons wedding which is 3 months after ours. The dress for their wedding is black.  We have always had a great relationship so I'm not sure where this is coming from. <strong>I don't know what to do or how to approach her about it.
</strong>Posted by anneandtyler[/QUOTE]


don't do anything. she's a grown woman, and capable of dressing herself.

why does it matter what color her dress is? do you think that people will be confused as to who the bride is?

Cant_wait!

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_need-advice-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:677d470f-a0fa-4d9c-a8ea-65ed70541519Post:e1031f28-f235-4403-8946-6f7f962fd194">Re: Need some advice</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Need some advice : don't do anything. she's a grown woman, and capable of dressing herself. why does it matter what color her dress is? do you think that people will be confused as to who the bride is?
Posted by *Barbie*[/QUOTE]
That's always been the standard answer on the knot, but I'd be pissed if my MIL did that at my wedding. I think it's incredibly rude.
So, OP, you should probably punch her in the face. HTH!

InksWell

Are you upset because a) you think it's inappropriate b) you don't want to be upstaged c) you think she's trying to hurt your feelings?

In the end, worrying about what she is wearing is just stress you don't need. Anyone close enough to be invited to your wedding should be able to tell who the bride is and who the mother of the groom is, even if you wearing the same color. And if anybody gets a little side eye, it will be her, not you.

The fact that she chose black for the next wedding makes me think she's a drama queen. Just let her wear the dress or she will find a more obnoxious way to draw attention. Either that or she just likes to wear neutrals.

MrsMyrtle

Just have one of your BMs spill some wine on her before the wedding. Problem solved!

baconsmom

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_need-advice-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:677d470f-a0fa-4d9c-a8ea-65ed70541519Post:adf0ea76-d6b6-402e-802a-ae44d73fddcc">Re: Need some advice</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Need some advice : That's always been the standard answer on the knot, but I'd be pissed if my MIL did that at my wedding. I think it's incredibly rude. So, OP, you should probably punch her in the face. HTH!
Posted by Cant_wait![/QUOTE]
Well, yeah, of course it's rude. But who looks worse: the MIL who shows up at the wedding in a white gown? Or the DIL who pulls a fit and vetoes her MIL's wardrobe choice? <div>
</div><div>OP, all I'll add to Barbie's answer is that obviously you *haven't* had a good relationship, or she wouldn't be a bitch to you. Don't mention the dress, and let her look like a moron at the wedding. If you're sweet and gracious, you'll have everyone's sympathy for the eventual chewing-out you'll have to give her someday. </div>

TheDuckis

Her other fDIL is probably freaking out about how black is a color for funerals.

And I agree 100% with bmom.

rlwood81

just let it go. there are so many things to worry about and thats not one of them.  she will look stupid everyone knows you dont wear any version of white to a wedding because that is reserved for the bride. 

RMacQueen

I honestly don't understand what the big deal is with dress colors. My mom is wearing black (she found a dress she look stunning in and I want her to feel pretty) and I could not be happier! I think that people stress too much over "tradition" and what you're "supposed to do" that it takes the fun out of weddings. Do what you want to do, wear what you want to wear. There are bigger concerns in life than someone else's wardrobe.