Wedding Woes

DD is minus a tooth

I think a couple of you saw this on FB, but I am not getting over it so I'm posting it here, too.

We stayed overnight in Hilton Head on our way back from FL.  After being cooped up in the car, DD was running around like a nut, and not 30 seconds after I told her to go brush her teeth, she slipped and went down hard on the tile.  A little bleeding, much crying, and as she calmed down, she fell asleep in DH's arms.  The next morning, we took another look at her injury and one of her top incisors had been pushed back--it wasn't loose, but it wasn't where it had been.  Weird.

Called the dentist, who said it wasn't an emergency and she could come in during normal office hours to have it checked out.  They tried to fit her in Monday and couldn't, so we got in first thing yesterday morning.  In the mean time, DD had developed a troubling new lisp, which was proof that things had moved around and DH and I weren't overreacting--something was definitely up.

She did great during the exam, great during the x-rays, the cleaning, the fluoride, all of it.  Dentist popped over, and after a glance at the x-rays and several seconds of poking around, said the relocated tooth would have to go.  Good news:  DD has great teeth, perfect bite, excellent spacing, every tooth was just where it should have been (except for the newly moved one).  (This is all DH, by the way--he never needed braces, I had them forever.)  Bad news:  the moved tooth was now interfering with her bite, obviously interfering with her speech, and potentially going to mess with the permanent tooth that would eventually replace it.  As I was digesting this and trying not to flip out, Dentist said she actually had a cancellation and could do it right then.  So I went for it.

DD was fine until about a minute after it was over and they cut off the nitrous--then she started screaming, trying to pull the mask off, trying to pull the gauze out of her mouth, flighting to sit up, etc.  Not fun.  She literally screamed until I got her home, gave her Tylenol while she was still in her car seat, and started driving to get her a dentist-recommended milkshake.  At that point, she fell asleep, and when she woke up she was much better.  She is fine now, but I am having a hard time accepting that her tooth is really, truly gone.  You can't even tell, really, except when she smiles.  And it's not even an aesthetic issue, I just genuinely feel like some part of my kid is missing, and it's unsettling.  I thought I'd feel better once she felt better, but so far I don't.

I also feel really judge-worthy, even though I'm self-aware enough to know that that's 99% me judging me, and that most people don't notice or care about my kid's teeth.  But it's still awkward to be checking out with a screaming kid as the receptionist yells above her "And did she only need the one tooth extracted today?"  I felt like Honey Boo-Boo's mother might feel, if she had anything resembling shame.

Also judgeworthy:  she broke her arm in Atlanta last summer, and now two separate people have commented that she injures herself "every time" we go somewhere.  Even though we have also been to Arkansas three times, Wisconsin once, and New Orleans once between the broken arm and the lost tooth without so much as a paper cut.  (Not to mention all the trips before the broken arm.)  But it does make me feel like a crap parent. 

Re: DD is minus a tooth

  • I have no idea what age most kids start losing their teeth.  Honestly, anyone who isn't over the age of oh...13-16 (I have to put a range, I'm losing my ability to tell children's ages by appearance)?  I probably wouldn't think it was anything but a lost baby tooth if I saw they were missing a tooth.  I really see nothing publicly judgeworthy here, though that probably doesn't make you feel better.

    Tell those people to stuff it.  They don't know you!!!!  But really, it's not someone else's place to comment on things like that.  DId they know about the other trips or just these 2 incidents?

    Since you got the tooth out so fast, does it increase the chances of no problems?
  • Aw, poor kid and poor momma.  You are not a crap parent.  A crap parent wouldn't care. 
  • aww.
    FWIW, I got like 1/3 of my teeth pulled over my life.  It's not always judge-worthy to have to get teeth pulled.
  • HeffalumpHeffalump member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2012
    Sorry, that was really long.  Clearly I am nowhere near over it.

    V, you're right--if I were a therapist, I would say that it's not so much that other people are judging, but that I'm judging myself.  I would seriously bet no one cares, let alone anyone whose opinion I actually give two shits about.  Also, at this point the only possible permanent damage is that the permanent tooth "might have a small discolored spot."  That all depends on whether the baby tooth hit it or not and if so, where (hard to tell from the x-ray).  And if it does come in discolored, the dentist said she can put in a tooth colored filling and that will take care of it.  DD is already back to saying "strawberries" instead of "thtrawberrieth" so we don't expect any long-term speech problems as a result.

    And GBCK, that's a lot of teeth.  Were you a hockey player or something? 

    I forgot to add this judgeworthy fact:  it was a realllllllly long day yesterday.  And I got half-soaked giving her a bath.  So it was only after I changed into my pajamas that I remembered I had planned to run out and get a tooth fairy gift after she went to bed.  So I had to backtrack on my earlier story and tell her to hold off on putting her tooth under her pillow, because the tooth fairy would come the following night, not last night. 

    Also, we do St. Nicholas Day (family tradition and one of the few ethnic things that survives in my family) so she's going to wake up with a pre-Christmas bonanza tomorrow.  It's like a flippin' Rise of the Guardians reunion in her bedroom.

    Also, I wonder if that means we'll get the Bumpa story tomorrow?  That would be awesome.
  • thanks to my orthodontists and not having enough room in my mouth, i've had more baby teeth pulled than i lost on my own. I've also had 4 permanent teeth pulled + all 4 wisdom teeth (not enough room in my mouth/didn't want to chance moving all of the straightened teeth).

    I wouldn't judge you as a parent or your DD for missing a tooth - 4 is a little young, but i think most kids start losing teeth by 5/6, so it's not much of a stretch. 

    Also, you need to tell people to STFU. Kids get hurt all of the time through their own actions.

    I used to get extra $$$ for my pulled teeth (since it was more of a hassle/more painful than losing them on my own)
  • I'm glad the lisp has gone away and she's feeling better.  Poor Woozle.
  • This was 'back in the day' when crooked teeth = "lets pull 'em all, then the new ones will be straight".
    (uh...didn't work.)

    What will the tooth fairy bring her?  
    a glitter-encrusted letter should be part of it :)
  • it makes for some good pictures. 
    my 4th grade class picture looks a lot like this: 
    *note, it looks like i only have about 8 teeth  behind my braces. 

  • Aww, poor kid. I am glad she is feeling better now. I remember my parents saying that at that age an injury is almost worse for the parents than the kids. They get over it in no time.

    I would just assume she had lost a baby tooth if I happened to see her. As for people saying she always gets hurt, tell them to shove off. Or try to ignore them. Or go passave aggressive and just roll your eyes and move the conversation on. Either way don't listen to them.

    Also, hearing that some of you have also had a lot of teeth pulled makes me feel better. I just had two pulled in September (the last of the wisdom teeth) bringing the total up to 9 - 4 before the braces to make room for the wisdom teeth, 4 wisdom teeth (yep, needed that room), and one that grew into my jaw bone and not my gums. 

    "Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought I was the only one." ~C.S. Lewis
  • aww, poor kid, but mostly poor mamma. it's far worse for you then it is for her. i didn't read the replies but i've heard that kids and anesthesia are usually a crazy mix. and she probably has no idea she flipped out.

    of course, i say this with a kid who hasn't (knock on wood) broken anything yet - emphasis on the word yet. but i think this all makes you a great parent. kids get hurt all the time. i used to worry about being judged because of all the black and blues mister baby has all the time, but he's just rambunctious. as careful as I actually am with him, he manages to go crazy. it happens.

  • Honestly, the anesthesia reaction sounds a lot like mine after I got my wisdom teeth out. I mean, I was 22ish, so I wasn't pulling out the gauze and everything, but I was absolutely hysterically crying for no good reason, and for quite a while. I remember the nurse telling my mom that people either cry like that or laugh hysterically. 

    Don't feel bad.You are a great mom, and the Woozle is a great kid. Better to take her on adventures than be a helicopter parent who keeps their kids in a padded room all the time so nothing bad ever happens to them.


    One thing to ask the dentist about - whether the other teeth will move around now that they have some extra room. It was amazing to me how much Des's teeth moved after we got him off of the pacifier. Granted, he was 2.25yo, not (4? How old is she?), but her teeth might move a lot. I'd hate for anything to happen to the current perfect spacing and bite.

    image
  • You all are very kind, thank you.  She is doing great, and I'm getting used to it. 

    GBCK, she didn't get anything nearly as spectacular as Kuus's old hauls.  No discussions of 2 vs. 3 dimensions or anything like that.  Stickers, a little candy, and a beanie humpback whale from St. Nicholas, a little Magi-Clip Merida and Queen Elinor/bear from the Tooth Fairy. 

    And DG, we're going to keep an eye on it for now, but based on her current spacing, since the tooth wasn't touching any of its neighbors, her dentist thinks its unlikely that the others will shift now that this one is gone--they're supposed to keep doing their own thing.  We can have a spacer put it if she needs it, but we're hoping not.
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