Wedding Woes

Count the red flags (for the morning)....

*paragrahs added for your reading pleasure*

 ..long vent.."interesting" reading i promise

my husband and i work together and unfortunately work with his ex wife
also. we have been together for about a year and a half officially but she, even at 34, cannot seem to just grow up. she has called/texted/sent letters/emailed/started rumors/driven by my house numerous times/made her myspace and fb an anti-tara websire (i finally had to delete mine completely so she wouldn't know where i was or what i was doing because the stalking had gotten so bad) she and my husband adopted my oldest stepson who is 4 pushing 5. had my younger stepson who is 3 pushing 4. and my lovey stepdaughter who is almost 2 now.

i had a loss last june that she went around telling people that "children" (i was 21) should not have children and it was god punishing me for trying to take per place. (EVIL!)

i heard a rumor through work that i was pregnant again (she likes to start that rumor knowing we were trying and that explaining to people i wasnt was hurtfull)..HOWEVER..hearing the rumor made me and dh realize i was late and indeed pregnant which sent her into HYSTERICS! when she realized that people at work werent giving her the "i cant believe that slut is pregnant ugh gross!" reaction, and instead, were very excited for my husband and i, she decided she needed some other way to get the spotlight "poor me" parade back on track.

she started "dating" a female that we work closely with. my husband and i have NO problems with this, whatever makes her happy and really, whatever gets her attention off of our lives, SWEET. the only problem is, shes not a lesbian. nor does she have any feelings for this poor woman. they constantly fight (which the kids witness and tell us is scary) and her new girlfriend moves out 1 week and in the next so its very volitile and unstable for the children (who she has not explained what is happening or what the relationship is and are VERY confused).

my husband and i just try to tip toe around it and change the subject when they ask us, because we feel it is not our place to explain this to them when its a JOKE and just yet another move to rub something in my husbands face. at the custody exchange today she yelled out from the door "im moving on saturday" my husband asked where and she yelled out the city. (shes moving in with her "girlfriend"). my husband laughed it off and said alright. when she realized we truly could care less about these games she slammed the door all huffy as usual. we are at a loss. we are SO concerned for the babies and how they are going to handle the fights there. and more so, when they blow up, and she is living in someone elses home with 3 kids and has no where to go, what is she going to do with the kids. she is unstable and were trying to get them half to full time..but we cant until mid august because i cant go part time at work until then. my heart is just so heavy for them right now.

(I highlighted the age information.  If I kept going, the whole post would be bolded.)

Re: Count the red flags (for the morning)....

  • Thanks for the paragraphs.  Even then, I'm going to be picking bits of cerebellum off my keyboard.  I think my brain exploded.
  • <falls over dead>

    Those poor, poor kids. My heart is breaking for them. What a trio of twits. 
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  • DG1DG1 member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    agreed bmom.

    I'm all side-eye at the timeline, too.  ex-wife is 34. Husband is presumably somewhat near 34?  New wife is 21 (or was 21 when she had her first baby with Husband?)

    Husband has:
    * 4yo adopted son
    * 3yo biological son
    * not-yet-2yo biological daughter
    * biological child of unknown age with new wife
    * child on the way with new wife

    That didn't really give him a lot of time to transition from wife #1 to wife #2. 


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  • 6fsn6fsn member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    I was thinking along those lines too DG.  I'd have to guess the ex-wife is still reeling from the adoption, baby making, and divorce in only a short amount of time.  I also like how new wifey completely dismisses the ex-wife being bisexual.  Living with a woman pretty much makes it true.

    She's putting a lot of stock in ex-wife and rumors too.  Hell, I had rumors for 10 years that I was pg and it had nothing to do with an ex-wife.
  • To the OP:  I think there is some legitimate grounds here for getting HR involved in possibly having actions taken against her at work.  If you can get proof of what's she's doing, there would be no question about you and your husband getting custody.  If she is stalking you, call the police.


    You need to seriously consider legal action against this woman.  If she is half as unstable as you say she is, then there is no telling what she can and will do to you, your husband, and your stepchildren.

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