y'all, i remember this episode being pretty offensive even back when i saw it at 8yo. basically, everyone handles the news of skippy's adoption like skippy has smallpox. and like smallpox, this all could have been avoided if his parents had vaccinated him -- WITH THE TRUTH. vaccinations, yay!
b plot out of the way: jennifer is being sent off to camp. she is scared, but everyone assures here is will be fine. there are shenanigans involving steven having to lift her giant heavy trunk and elyse won't get out of his way because she has to talk to jennifer and steven almost gets a hernia. and then jennifer gets on a plane to camp by herself AND THE PLANE CRASHES AND JENNIFER DIES ALONE AND AFRAID. she didn't come back by the end of the episode, so that's what i assume happened.
the a plot involves c list character, irwin "skippy" handleman. he was rooting around in his mother's drawers (... dresser drawers, i'm assuming) and finds his adoption papers. OMG HE FLIPS OUTZ, YO. he gets all super drama llama and is all "mr. and mrs. handleman" and "call me by my real name, baby boy doe" and whatevs. he goes to alex and is all "who am i? can i conceal myself forever more? pretend i'm not the man i was before?" (i've been watching the "les mis" trailers on youtube.)
he's all arm-flapping around and whatevs. and then skipster says that he wants to meet his mom. mr. and mrs. handleman know her and have kind of kept in touch with her. okay, y'all -- SHE'S IN TOLEDO. you know what that means! ooooh, girl crazy!
okay, so the handlemans are over at the keatons and they're all "we should have told him a long time ago!" yes, but that ship has sailed so whatevs. by the way, this whole conversation with the handlemans kind of reveals why skippy is so socially awky. like adoptive father, like adopted son.
skippy wants to meet his mom, and alex offers to drive him to toledo. they go and arrive at his birth mother's apt. by the way, in the apartment hallway, there is this beautiful small midcentury credenza. it has these lovely little tapered legs, and i think the doors have rattan insets. i would like to know if the doors open up into drawers or if they are just open shelving, and i would also like to know if the back is finished. it looks like walnut.
back to our boring show! skippy starts to get the heebs, so he hides behind a plant. alex knocks on the door, and elizabeth answers. she immediately says "IRWIN" and hugs alex. alex has to be all, "not me -- that plant over there." and then poor elizabeth gets to awkwardly hug her awkward son.
alex insists on waiting outside, and skips 'n' liz head into her apt. it appears to be a 1br, mostly avocado, and clearly the abode of a single woman. skippy immediately starts in on the uncomfortable questions. he asks about his early life, and liz is all, "umm, that was kind of a hard time for me." and then he asks, "what about my dad?" and liz has to say things like, "he slept a summer by my side. he filled my days with endless wonder. he took my childhood in his stride! but he was gone when autumn came!" (those les mis songs are seriously catchy, you guys.)
skippy finally loses his sht and yells, "HOW COULD YOU DO IT. HOW COULD YOU GIVE ME UP?" ummm, you're making it kind of easy on her right now, homeslice. anyway, liddy gives the best answer -- "i did it because i loved you." (no offense, but ADURR.)
anyhoo, alex and skippy drive back to columbus. skippy is all verkelmpt (or whatever the wasp equivalent of that is), and alex has to talk him down. there is some genuinely stupid "who's on first"-style banter regarding which mother is being referred to but the writing is not good. it's like writing a comedy show, and then basing it on gilbert and sullivan, and it ends up being stupid and show-killing rather than funny.
the handlemans are there, and skippy reconciles with them, telling him they are his real parents. (adurr.) and then the keatons, with their real vaginal-birthed children, smile and nod.
there was a sex joke, but i blacked out when i heard it so i cannot tell you what it was. AND A CHILD (allegedly) DIES IN THIS EPISODE but it was offscreen (i assume) so (i also assume) that steven and elyse killed themselves because they didn't want to go one when they selfishly sent jennifer away for a summer of fun, swimming arts and/or crafts and they weren't there when she died. DIED IN A PLANE CRASH. ALONE. AND AFRAID.
