And...

MinM

FIL is 'disappointed.'

I sat on the phone with him and explained what I do (because, face it, they don't know) and why the offer just wasn't good. That, in a year, we could have nothing and I wasn't comfortable with that.

He said, "Well I just don't think that way and I would take the leap of faith."

I said, "I grew up poor and I didn't get this education to be jobless. I want security above anything else." and then I thought of Maslow's hierarchy of needs.

I explained to FIL that we are going to try to keep in contact with these folks, so maybe we can revisit this next year when the permanent position opens up.

And then FIL told me to read the bible. Ugh....that man is persistent.

When I was done, I told H, FIL doesn't get it. H said, "no, he does not."

Either way, we're happy to be done talking about it/worrying abotu it.

It's sucks to get the parental, "we're disappointed" speech. At least he heard me out. But I still don't think he really understands, and that is OK.

**O-Face**

meh.  You do you.

mrsconn23

I'm glad he at least heard you out.  Who knows what could happen in a year? Dissappointing family sucks, but you have to do what's right for you.

GBCK

I get a underlying "be a good wifey and follow your man" vibe from your retelling of that conversation.

mrsconn23

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_and-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:70cd8c20-7748-4bc8-8d4a-6ec6aca65cf8Post:b29479fc-0073-47b2-adc5-51ee0659cd2e">Re: And...</a>:
[QUOTE]I get a underlying "be a good wifey and follow your man" vibe from your retelling of that conversation.
Posted by GBCK[/QUOTE]

Yeah, especially with the 'read the bible' comment.  <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-undecided.gif" border="0" alt="Undecided" title="Undecided" />

loveshine1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_and-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:70cd8c20-7748-4bc8-8d4a-6ec6aca65cf8Post:b29479fc-0073-47b2-adc5-51ee0659cd2e">Re: And...</a>:
[QUOTE]I get a underlying "be a good wifey and follow your man" vibe from your retelling of that conversation.
Posted by GBCK[/QUOTE]

This.

And while I don't know exactly what you and PT do, there have got to be better opportunities out there for you.

MinM

I know....I have the exact same education as their son but that doesn't seem to register. The irony is my mom is the same way about him. Both of our families expect the other one to give everything up so we can return home.

It doesn't work that way. At least H and I are on the same page. Some times PT can be an idiot, but we have this bit right.

zsazsa-stl

I'm proud of you for not getting all stabby on FIL, because that discussion would have sent me THROUGH THE ROOF. 

I would also be a wee pit peeved at PT for leaking the possibility of moving home to them.  Why get their hopes up before your decision is made? 

MinM

Well, that is just as much my fault as his. He was saying that we would be able to do X, Y and Z (i.e., store our stuff in their shed) and I was freaking out, saying we can't rely on assumptions.

But yeah...should have never told them. Now they are all fvcking butthurt.

TheDuckis

I's have also been peeved about being the one to do the untelling. If this was us, H would have been telling them why it wasn't the right job for him.

MinM

H spoke to him and I spoke to him. I wanted him to hear my side of it, from me. Now I know that I have explained myself to him. Will that change anything? I dont' know. But I feel better about it.