Dress Drama - What do I do???

wchristiansen

I'm new here.  I lurk around a bit, but I've never posted before.  But I wanted to get some advice from the people who know best, so here I go:

In February, I went with my sister, mom, and best friend (MOH) to pick out my dress.  BIG mistake.  To make a long story short, they picked everything I liked apart, took dresses I liked AWAY from me and out of the fitting room before I could try them on, made fun of my figure (I'm a size 8, so apparently that meant they could say I had no boobs and a fat rear,) and generally made me miserable.

At the end of the day, I was almost in tears.  (My mom and MOH have since apologized.)  I ended up picking out a dress (Casablanca 1859) which is beautiful.  However, I'm still not sure if I picked the dress out for me, or to make them shut up.

I'm having nightmares at least once a week about this dress.  Every time I think about it, I get a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach that this is the WRONG dress.

My wedding is in October.  It's five months away, and money IS an issue.  The refund policy at the store is, of course, no refunds and no exchanges.

What do I do?  Do I suck this up and be miserable with the dress?  Or do I go back shopping and go broke picking out another one?  My mother paid for this one; she wants me to be happy, but she's not going to fork out the money for a second dress.

Thanks everybody.

loveshine1

Why would you pick a dress you weren't completely happy with?

mrsconn23

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_dress-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:74a3871e-dcd1-47bb-95f6-044ecf9d874bPost:3808fbc5-f25b-41af-9024-65f2d2bd9f6c">Dress Drama - What do I do???</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm new here.  I lurk around a bit, but I've never posted before.  But I wanted to get some advice from the people who know best, so here I go: In February, I went with my sister, mom, and best friend (MOH) to pick out my dress.  BIG mistake.  To make a long story short, they picked everything I liked apart, took dresses I liked AWAY from me and out of the fitting room before I could try them on, made fun of my figure (I'm a size 8, so apparently that meant they could say I had no boobs and a fat rear,) and generally made me miserable. At the end of the day, I was almost in tears.  (My mom and MOH have since apologized.)  I ended up picking out a dress (Casablanca 1859) which is beautiful.  However, I'm still not sure if I picked the dress out for me, or to make them shut up. I'm having nightmares at least once a week about this dress.  Every time I think about it, I get a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach that this is the WRONG dress. My wedding is in October.  It's five months away, and money IS an issue.  The refund policy at the store is, of course, no refunds and no exchanges. What do I do?  Do I suck this up and be miserable with the dress?  Or do I go back shopping and go broke picking out another one?  My mother paid for this one; she wants me to be happy, but she's not going to fork out the money for a second dress. Thanks everybody.
Posted by wchristiansen[/QUOTE]

I stopped at the part where your mom, MOH, and sister ridiculed you and told you that you are fat.  Why the hell do you keep these people around?

MrsMyrtle

You're going to have to live with it. You could force them to wear something godawful as retribution. After all, it's YOUR big day.

mrsconn23

Oh and you're placing way.too.much emphasis on a dress that you will wear for one day to attend a party.

Heffalump

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_dress-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:74a3871e-dcd1-47bb-95f6-044ecf9d874bPost:3808fbc5-f25b-41af-9024-65f2d2bd9f6c">Dress Drama - What do I do???</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm new here.  I lurk around a bit, but I've never posted before.  But I wanted to get some advice from the people who know best, so here I go: In February, I went with my sister, mom, and best friend (MOH) to pick out my dress.  BIG mistake.  To make a long story short, they picked everything I liked apart, took dresses I liked AWAY from me and out of the fitting room before I could try them on, made fun of my figure (I'm a size 8, so apparently that meant they could say I had no boobs and a fat rear,) and generally made me miserable. At the end of the day, I was almost in tears.  (My mom and MOH have since apologized.)  I ended up picking out a dress (Casablanca 1859) which is beautiful.  However, I'm still not sure if I picked the dress out for me, or to make them shut up. I'm having nightmares at least once a week about this dress.  Every time I think about it, I get a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach that this is the WRONG dress. My wedding is in October.  It's five months away, and money IS an issue.  The refund policy at the store is, of course, no refunds and no exchanges. What do I do?  Do I suck this up and be miserable with the dress?  Or do I go back shopping and go broke picking out another one?  My mother paid for this one; she wants me to be happy, but she's not going to fork out the money for a second dress. Thanks everybody.
Posted by wchristiansen[/QUOTE]

Since you let them push you into a dress you weren't sure about, maybe you should ask <em>them</em> what you should do.

jojobrn

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_dress-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:74a3871e-dcd1-47bb-95f6-044ecf9d874bPost:3808fbc5-f25b-41af-9024-65f2d2bd9f6c">Dress Drama - What do I do???</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm new here.  I lurk around a bit, but I've never posted before.  But I wanted to get some advice from the people who know best, so here I go: In February, I went with my sister, mom, and best friend (MOH) to pick out my dress.  BIG mistake.  To make a long story short, they picked everything I liked apart, took dresses I liked AWAY from me and out of the fitting room before I could try them on, made fun of my figure (I'm a size 8, so apparently that meant they could say I had no boobs and a fat rear,) and generally made me miserable. At the end of the day, I was almost in tears.  (My mom and MOH have since apologized.)  I ended up picking out a dress (Casablanca 1859) which is beautiful.  However, I'm still not sure if I picked the dress out for me, or to make them shut up. I'm having nightmares at least once a week about this dress.  Every time I think about it, I get a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach that this is the WRONG dress. My wedding is in October.  It's five months away, and money IS an issue.  The refund policy at the store is, of course, no refunds and no exchanges. What do I do?  Do I suck this up and be miserable with the dress?  Or do I go back shopping and go broke picking out another one?  My mother paid for this one; she wants me to be happy, but she's not going to fork out the money for a second dress. Thanks everybody.
Posted by wchristiansen[/QUOTE]

Have these people done this to you before? Picked you apart like that? You could try and sell this dress to get the funds for one you really want.

TheDuckis

My honest opinion is that that dress is gorgeous. Do you have a picture of yourself in it? If not, go back to the store, try it on, and admire yourself in it for a little while.

I had all kinds of anxiety about my dress. In the end, it was absolutely perfect and I'm really glad I didn't change my mind.

ReturnOfKuus

Get a new dress and, for the love of God, go shopping without these women.

HookaPants

Go back and try the dress on without them. Put on a little makeup, fix your hair and try it on.

NOLABridesmaid

Why would you go shopping with them? I'm sure this is not a new thing with them.

Why not call the dress shop and see if you can use the deposit on another dress? Maybe it's not to late for them to cancel the first dress?

You can also buy the second dress on your own.

LnR70707

What don't you like about it?  I googled it and it looks very pretty.

I had doubts about my dress because I wondered if I should have looked at more dresses before picking it (though I did pick it because I liked it).  In the end I loved my dress and I still get compliments on how beautiful it was.

If you really hate it you could try selling it on ebay or craigslist.

Butter Cookie

You're still getting married. You still get to look forward to your marriage. You still get to look forward to the way your H looks at you as you walk down the aisle. You still get the first dance. Focus on those things, and the dress drama will fade into the background.

Also, consider doing one of those 3 stooges moves where you clunk Mom and MOH's heads together. I'm SO glad I only had MOH go with me.

wchristiansen

Thanks to all who replied.  For those who wondered why I would take such people with me, this IS a new thing for Mom and MOH.  As I said, both have since apologized and given their own reasons for being crappy with me.  (Mom - little girl getting married, MOH - jealous b/c she's been with her guy longer and he still hasn't popped the question.)  My sister has always been this way, but she really wanted to come along, so I let her to make her happy.

As for buying a dress I didn't truly know I wanted?  Easy.  It was the first time everyone around me shut up the whole day.  It was on sale and would be full price the next day (trunk sale.)  I was so stressed out and knocked sideways by the unexpected behavior of my family and friend that I had a moment of "Just let this be over!!!" and I made an impulsive decision.

I have gone back and tried the dress on, alone, with hair and makeup done, twice.  I still can't figure this out, and I'm STILL having nightmares where I have a different dress, and then suddenly it's the dress I actually bought, and I wake up upset with the switch.

Again, thanks for all the advice and support.  I think I'm going to keep looking.  If I never find anything else I like better, then I'll wear the original dress.  But if I try on a dress and I find "THE dress?"  I'll figure something out.

Butter Cookie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_dress-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:74a3871e-dcd1-47bb-95f6-044ecf9d874bPost:2741e2d1-e571-4c8d-857f-81e37a922835">Re: Dress Drama - What do I do???</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks to all who replied.  For those who wondered why I would take such people with me, this IS a new thing for Mom and MOH.  As I said, both have since apologized and given their own reasons for being crappy with me.  (Mom - little girl getting married, MOH - jealous b/c she's been with her guy longer and he still hasn't popped the question.)  My sister has always been this way, but she really wanted to come along, so I let her to make her happy. As for buying a dress I didn't truly know I wanted?  Easy.  It was the first time everyone around me shut up the whole day.  It was on sale and would be full price the next day (trunk sale.)  I was so stressed out and knocked sideways by the unexpected behavior of my family and friend that I had a moment of "Just let this be over!!!" and I made an impulsive decision. I have gone back and tried the dress on, alone, with hair and makeup done, twice.  I still can't figure this out, and I'm STILL having nightmares where I have a different dress, and then suddenly it's the dress I actually bought, and I wake up upset with the switch. Again, thanks for all the advice and support.  I think I'm going to keep looking.  If I never find anything else I like better, then I'll wear the original dress.  But if I try on a dress and I find "THE dress?"  I'll figure something out.
Posted by wchristiansen[/QUOTE]


If you find THE dress you can always donate the original, or try to sell it. I'm donating mine when I'm done. If you find one that's super puffy perfect pink delicious glitter awesome and it's in your price range and makes you feel awesome then buy it, but if not, no biggie.

wchristiansen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_dress-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:74a3871e-dcd1-47bb-95f6-044ecf9d874bPost:31f49a11-9deb-4c3a-98cb-f083142dc8ef">Re: Dress Drama - What do I do???</a>:
[QUOTE]If you find one that's super puffy perfect pink delicious glitter awesome and it's in your price range and makes you feel awesome then buy it, but if not, no biggie.
Posted by Butter Cookie[/QUOTE]

I think this is the best advice I've gotten about the whole thing.  <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-laughing.gif" border="0" alt="Laughing" title="Laughing" />  Thank you!