Wedding Woes

We have to stay peppy and post today

I really don't feel like working too much.  Most of the support staff took today and quite a few of the attorneys did too.  I'm going to be doing office busywork (filing, yech), so I'll need distractions!

Re: We have to stay peppy and post today

  • And all I have is political stuff which gets tiring, so COME ON people.

    Oh, I have a funny story about DH.
  • I've been addicted to fluff like Twitter and YT videos.  Because I'm lame, and know my time to screw around is limited.
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  • Someone started an InvisibleObama account on Twitter.  It's pretty funny.

    I'm slowly starting to get addicted to Youtube videos.  I've been watching for ideas on Mad Hatter makeup and hair.  There's so much random crap on there that's useful!
  • thejucheideathejucheidea East Nashville, Tennessee member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer

    I could add spice to the day by posting an awkward excerpt we read aloud from a book in junior year of high school. I posted it on Facebook and my friends immediately dubbed it 'fifty shades of sugar'. My coworkers were all embarrassed when I read it to them this morning and it amused me to no end. I can't believe that we read something about sugar dildos out loud when we were sixteen.


  • FI and I both had bad days at work yesterday, so we each drank a bottle of wine. At some point, TV got boring so he convinced me to put on that weird fake porn on HBO. It was like an awards ceremony for homemade adult films. One of them was just girls in various stages of undress popping balloons. Apparently the guy who made it has a balloon fetish.

    Uhhhhh what.
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  • In Response to Re:We have to stay peppy and post today:[QUOTE]FI and I both had bad days at work yesterday, so we each drank a bottle of wine. At some point, TV got boring so he convinced me to put on that weird fake porn on HBO. It was like an awards ceremony for homemade adult films. One of them was just girls in various stages of undress popping balloons. Apparently the guy who made it has a balloon fetish.Uhhhhh what. Posted by CourtaniaLynn[/QUOTE]

    You know that dude's just warming her up for his grand masterpiece of WTF kink....popping bubble wrap
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  • LMAO I actually brought that up. "You know there's someone out there who gets off the popping bubble wrap. And you know there's someone out there who will pay a girl to take off her clothes and pop bubble wrap for a few hours. I need that job."

    It was a collection of homemade videos that were nominated for some award ceremony. There was one with teddy bear cookies (not like Teddy Grahams, looked like oatmeal cookies) that were animated. I think I need therapy. No more oatmeal cookies for me.
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  • That is weird.

    Also...sugar dildo?  What book is this?
  • You say sugar dildo, I say horrible terrible bacterial infection of the va-jay-jay.
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  • thejucheideathejucheidea East Nashville, Tennessee member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited August 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_we-have-to-stay-peppy-and-post-today?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:7803be06-1f41-4550-a777-bf3091c0988aPost:a14b4529-ae92-441e-86bc-53f11cec05ac">Re: We have to stay peppy and post today</a>:
    [QUOTE] Also...sugar dildo?  What book is this?
    Posted by VarunaTT[/QUOTE]

    Sacred Hunger by Barry Unsworth. It was one of the required books in AP English when I was a junior. Here's the best part of the book (aka the only part of the book I remember because I can still remember how awkward it was to read it out loud):

    <p>[QUOTE]Gasperini's men brought them, in boxes tied with red ribbon, one for each person in the room. They were unwrapped and held up and turned this way and that in the lamplight, glistening white replicas of horse-shoes, pigs, rosettes, shells, keys... A long-drawn aaah went round the table: Erasmus's girl had extracted from her box -- as all had known she would, since it was marked for her -- a sugar penis, gleaming with crystals, heroically tumid, with a red tassel attached. Smiling, she held it up for all to see. And as she did so, the chanting began again, a single barking syllable now: 'Up-up-up.'

    She laid the dildo before Erasmus and leapt up in a single movement on to the table. Dishes, glasses, remnants of food were swept aside. She tossed her head and snapped her fingers at the hollow-eyed fiddlers, who went into the rhythm of a gavotte. She commenced a swaying dance in the centre of the table, removing her garments piece by piece and throwing them down among the spectators, petticoats, bustle, bodice, stockings. Naked, she was beautiful in the lamplight, her skin like a warm pearl. She swooped for her gift, danced into a half-squatting position. Still to the stately rhythm of the music, she inserted it between her legs, pressing it slowly into herself with both hands, raising her face with an expression of simulated ecstasy, while the voices round her rose again, overlapping, indistinguishable, like the baying of dogs.
    </p><p>
    The woman rose and raised her arms to show the hands were empty and danced a few gyrating steps, keeping her knees close, working her thighs, rounding her mouth to make oohs of bliss. The crimson tassel hund down between her legs like some trailing tissue of blood. She kept to the centre of the table, stepping short, turning to avoid the hands that snatched, though more in jest than earnest, at the swinging cord.
    </p><p>
    She came to rest where she had begun, before Erasmus, and smiled down at him and swayed her hips, while the whole table loudly exhorted their new President to take it out-out-out, and he reached up and took the strip of velvet and drew on it and a roar went up at the expected sight of how wilted and eroded that proud prick was now, how it dangled grotesquely misshapen on its thread -- in accordance with hallowed custom it had been made of powder sugar, designed for quick melting in the hot spice of the vagina.[/QUOTE]

    My favorite parts were that the dildo was 'heroically tumid' and that her vagina is hotly spiced.</p>

  • Wow.  The AP English reading list has changed since I was in school.  That came out in '92, I was out in '95.  I don't remember anything like that!
  • thejucheideathejucheidea East Nashville, Tennessee member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_we-have-to-stay-peppy-and-post-today?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:7803be06-1f41-4550-a777-bf3091c0988aPost:6c0265f5-fd72-487b-a3c3-683c1ab4e99e">Re: We have to stay peppy and post today</a>:
    [QUOTE]Wow.  The AP English reading list has changed since I was in school.  That came out in '92, I was out in '95.  I don't remember anything like that!
    Posted by VarunaTT[/QUOTE]

    I don't know if it was just the teacher's choice (a vaguely lecherous older gentleman teaching at a private school) or if other AP classes actually read it. I read it in 2002.

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