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His ex is getting married and wants us there

Basically, they broke up, we're friends and she wants us to come to her wedding. How do I (politely) tell her that there's no way in hell that he would want to be there?

Re: His ex is getting married and wants us there

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    TheDuckisTheDuckis member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I don't know how old any of you actually are, bit I do know you are ALL too young to be getting married.
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    ReturnOfKuusReturnOfKuus member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_his-ex-getting-married-wants-her-moh-kinda-long-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:7807d9ea-443d-41b1-a816-eda26127a711Post:114a0601-33e6-4f26-b852-c3bd4087b189">Re: His ex is getting married and wants me to be her MOH (kinda long, sorry :( )</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't know how old any of you actually are, bit I do know you are ALL too young to be getting married.
    Posted by TheDuckis[/QUOTE]

    This is the damn truth.  Everyone in this story is acting the ass, from the competitive friends who were acting like college boys were in short supply (I mean, really, how do you not know it's a d*ck move to start dating your friend's ex-boyfriend?  And how limited are your options that you couldn't just pick some other guy that hadn't dated any of your friends?) to the loser guy playing these two girls off of each other to stroke his ego.
    image
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    ReturnOfKuusReturnOfKuus member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    And, just in case...



    Ok, so my fiance dated one of my friends right before we started dating. It ended badly because she thought he was cheating on her with me.

    I should probably give you some background info. She and I were friends for a few months before he moved here. Then I started liking him and surprise surprise so did she. She's much more bold than I am so she pretty much told him they were going out for Valentine's day before I barely had a chance to introduce myself to him. Anyway, eventually he and I became friends and we sorta just clicked. Within a month we were hanging out whenever she was working and he was my best friend. She didn't like that. She told him I was a slut (among other things that shouldn't be repeated) and told him that if he didnt stop talking to me they would be over. Well he told me he couldnt talk to me anymore and we didnt...for about a day. He said that he couldnt stand talking to her because he had to hear the day's drama before he could get a word in. (She was only a senior in high school at the time and he and I were both in college. So she was more immature and he and I were in the same stage of life). Anyway, long story short she dumped him after less than a month and he and I started hanging out all day every day and eventually we fell in love.

    Well, she and I kinda made up (that's just how I am, I can't stand when people are mad at me and I think grudges are pointless) and she got engaged (conveniently less than one week after I told her about my engagement). Oh, and did I mention our fiances both have the same first name?

    Needless to say she's very competitive. My fiance's mom can't stand her (his parents were going to break them up if they had lasted any longer) and she thinks I should just completely cut her out of our lives but that's nearly impossible to do. We go to the same college and have a similar schedule, she goes to our church, and we just joined a new college group and were really liking it and now her and her sister and their friends are all coming and half of our meetings are listening to their drama!

    Not ten minutes ago I saw her in the hallway at school and she told me that she wants me to be, at the very least, a bridesmaid and possibly her maid of honor. I don't know what to do. She's one of those people who has everyone at church wrapped around her finger and if I tell her I don't want to attend her wedding, let alone be in her bridal party she'll spread stuff around the church and make my life a living hell.

    Please help!!
    image
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    ReturnOfKuusReturnOfKuus member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Okay, then, here's the advice:

    You're teenagers, all of you.  Stop calling each other fiance and fiancee in a vain effort to add seriousness to what is, in truth, a teenage romance.  In just a few years' time every single one of you is going to be embarrassed at how you're behaving now, but you'll be more likely to laugh at it if you're not legally stuck with any of your current decisions.
    image
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    ReturnOfKuusReturnOfKuus member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    And lol at "the most amazing guy you've ever met".  At 19, you haven't met many people at all.
    image
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    GBCKGBCK member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Okay, advice...
    When asked about it say "oh, I'm sure you'll want to decide closer to the day"
    because those plans = meaningless.
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    Hatchergirl04Hatchergirl04 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thank you
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    RaptorSLHRaptorSLH member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_his-ex-getting-married-wants-her-moh-kinda-long-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:7807d9ea-443d-41b1-a816-eda26127a711Post:8b04df06-a274-4a92-a404-ce20660858f9">His ex is getting married and wants us there</a>:
    [QUOTE]Basically, they broke up, we're friends and she wants us to come to her wedding. How do I (politely) tell her that there's no way in hell that he would want to be there?
    Posted by Hatchergirl04[/QUOTE]

    <div>"He" wouldn't want to be there, or you wouldn't?  Presumably, your FI is a big boy and can speak for himself.</div>
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    Hatchergirl04Hatchergirl04 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Neither of us would. And she asked me, not him so there's no reason to be biitchy about it.
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_his-ex-getting-married-wants-her-moh-kinda-long-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:7807d9ea-443d-41b1-a816-eda26127a711Post:fc433a53-b22f-499d-be64-e9debe53fbbd">Re: His ex is getting married and wants us there</a>:
    [QUOTE]Neither of us would. And she asked me, not him so there's no reason to be biitchy about it.
    Posted by Hatchergirl04[/QUOTE]

    I personally don't think 19 is too young to get married, but I do think you have to be mature enough for it (I'm not saying you're not b/c I don't really know you, I'm just responding to PP's).

    Either way, regardless if you're ready to get married or not (which only you and your FI can determine, not anybody on this board), you were asking us for advice in regards to attending your FI's ex's wedding, so . . .  If you don't want to go, just politely decline by sending in the RSVP ontime with 0 attending. Problem solved.
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_his-ex-getting-married-wants-her-moh-kinda-long-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:7807d9ea-443d-41b1-a816-eda26127a711Post:7bea897d-4eb3-4834-b83d-84540c2dc7ff">Re: His ex is getting married and wants me to be her MOH (kinda long, sorry :( )</a>:
    [QUOTE]And lol at "the most amazing guy you've ever met".  At 19, you haven't met many people at all.
    Posted by ReturnOfKuus[/QUOTE]

    Totally not true. Have you met the OP? Do you know how many people she's met in her lifetime? What if she moved a lot? You're making a very general statement. This girl may or may not be ready to get married, but please don't stereotype young people. Do you think that once a person turns 20 and is no longer classified as a "teenager" then he/she is ready to get married? There's a whole lot more to it than a number. Even if the OP is not ready to get married, it's not up to us to judge. She wasn't asking about getting married herself, she was asking about how to respond to her FI's ex's invite.
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