Dear Prudence,
I was asked to be a bridesmaid in a friend's wedding five years ago, and I gladly accepted. Last year, I got married in a much smaller ceremony and did not ask this friend to be in my wedding. I did call to tell her how much I looked forward to her being there and how much I valued our friendship. Then, the day before the wedding, she called me crying hysterically that she would not be able to make it due to illness. After the wedding, my attempts to get in touch were blown off. Recently I saw that she joined Facebook, and I emailed her in an attempt to reconnect. After a few days she replied, telling me that by not including her in our wedding party I had made it clear that I didn't think much of our friendship. She also told me that she had not been sick but could not bring herself to attend a wedding where she felt she was not wanted, and I must have known that. I didn't, or else I wouldn't have paid for a dinner for her and her husband. She added that after I read all of this, I may not want to reconnect, and she'd understand. I want her to know that I did not know why she chose not to attend and that I think she is being unfair. How should I respond?
—Former Friend of Not a Bridesmaid