I was raised Catholic, practically all of my family members are Catholic. My sister married in a Methodist church and she and her family now belong to a non-denominational organization. My mother was not happy about this when she married...
My fiancee is not Catholic, and I, being 28 years old and able to reason and decide for myself, have chosen not to get married Catholic nor to continue with my Catholic faith. It does not meet my needs spiritually, and we have found a nondenominational church that we actually enjoy attending and look forward to Sundays.
We are getting married outdoors at a small vineyard and winery, with the reception being inside. The reception room is rustic-looking with black wrought-iron fixtures and chandaliers. We love it... it's classy yet not fussy and over the top... and no one we know has ever been married there, let alone even visited this winery.
Today my mother told me that she is quote " humiliated and embarrassed to tell her friends or others about the wedding because having it at the winery is TRASHY." She said that when two people start their lives together, it should be in a church (she specifically meant the Catholic church) and she stated that she refuses to contribute to the wedding planning and funding, or ATTEND the wedding unless we agree to get married in a church beforehand.
I was speechless. This is by far the most hurtful thing my mother has ever said to me. Granted, she was mad at me for another reason and angry with my brother over something as well, so it may have been just the heat of the moment.
I want my mom there. I want her to be excited about planning and I want to share this time with her. But I am an adult... I am still her "child" but I am NOT A CHILD. I'm 28 and fully capable of making these kinds of decisions on my own when it comes to my wedding.
Does anyone have any idea on how to handle this situation? I'm hoping it was just her being on edge about other things and she just lost her cool for a minute.