Wedding Woes
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Parent Question

You don't get home from work until 6.
Your kid gets home at 4.
Kid isn't suppose to leave the house.
Kid leaves on the regular and comes home when he gets good and ready.
Good and ready can be at 11 at night.
You come to my office to ask where you can send him because he won't do anything you say.

Kid is 14, and loves the ladies too. Me thinks he is knocking some boots while his is away. He also loves the weed...LOVES the weed.

I get a visit one of these parents at least once a week.

They don't respond well to my advice. Got anything new I can use.:)


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Re: Parent Question

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    nicoleg1982nicoleg1982 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Start handing out chastity belts and gags?
    imageimage
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    6fsn6fsn member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Or give out condoms and lawyer's cards?

    Kid needs to be somewhere with accountability- sports, band, choir, JOB.
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    loveshine1loveshine1 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yeah, this is a teen pregnancy just waiting to happen. Or a trip to juvenile hall.

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
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    PMeg819PMeg819 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    I'd say after school care but I'm assuming there isn't any financial resources for that. So my suggestion is to chain the kid somewhere.
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    edited December 2011
    How about put your foot in his behind.

    I made mom take the phone from him, and do you know she said that he can get it back if he stays home today when she gets home. How is one day phoneless going to do anything.

    This is also the mom that came home from work and there was a girl in his room. IN HER HOUSE. WHILE SHE WASN'T HOME.

    I'm yelling because I would have told that girl if she came back to my house I would call the police and tell them she broke in and stole my stuff.

    This mom doesn't have a clue what to do with him.
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    edited December 2011
    Y'all would be surprised how much these parents make a year. One look at the lunch applications, and I don't know how a family of 4 came make it on $15,000 a year.

    Many work long hours, and I had one kid falling asleep in class because her mom cleans office buildings at night, and she had to go with her to work because she was too young to stay home alone at night.
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    6fsn6fsn member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I feel bad for the kid falling asleep at school.

    I do have to wonder why a kid has a phone if the family has very little money.  I also had a hard time feeling sorry for the couple that was waiting until midnight to get their foodstamp money.  They had a babysitter and were standing in a parking lot checking their iphone for the moment the money hit.  If you are that despearate someone should stay home and you shouldn't be using a data plan.
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    edited December 2011
    6, this is what I've come up with.

    We have many 1st generational families, and many didn't have any extras as a kid or barely even the basics. They have always told themselves that their kids would have more than they did. As a result, they take their last to buy phones, Jordans, video games, etc.

    They don't realize until the kid is about 12 that they have created a bunch of ungrateful, spoiled monsters. Then they come to me wanting to know what can they do. It's hard to change 12 years of bad habits, but it starts with some tough love, high expectations, and consistent rules from both parents.

    Dad can't be a softie while mom is saying no. That doesn't work.
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    6fsn6fsn member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I can totally see that.  It's exactly what happened with friend and her daughter.  Friend had nothing growing up so she completely indulged daughter.  Then didn't know what to do when kid was 15 and doing time in juvie.

    It's much easier to lock a 3 yo in their room.
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    edited December 2011
    NOLA - Does mom have a friend/sister who has a child that needs baby sitting? I'd put kid to work. Make him pick up the other kid, feed 'em, help them with their homework, etc. Having a baby sister when I was 11 was the best birth control EVER. Make him wak a mile down the path he' headed for....parenthood.
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    hmonkeyhmonkey member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    [QUOTE]6, this is what I've come up with. We have many 1st generational families, and many didn't have any extras as a kid or barely even the basics. They have always told themselves that their kids would have more than they did. As a result, they take their last to buy phones, Jordans, video games, etc.
    Posted by NOLABridesmaid[/QUOTE]

    my parents grew up without anything and they pretty raised us by saying, "i came from nothing and i have some things; you work hard and you can buy your own things."

    14 is not too young to have a job. 
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    AuntFloAuntFlo member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    nola - what does 1st generational mean?

    min - no, he does not need to be babysitting.  Poor kid will end up on youtube smoking pot.
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    edited December 2011

    Oh, and he needs to be peeing in a cup with consequences.

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    AuntFloAuntFlo member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    LOL @ a "cup with consequences."   You should market that.
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_parent-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:84322c8d-41dd-407c-85f2-2866734c2c49Post:0783433d-3db1-4a49-9722-8ce58f5f7580">Re: Parent Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>How about put your foot in his behind.</strong> I made mom take the phone from him, and do you know she said that he can get it back if he stays home today when she gets home. How is one day phoneless going to do anything. This is also the mom that came home from work and there was a girl in his room. IN HER HOUSE. WHILE SHE WASN'T HOME. I'm yelling because I would have told that girl if she came back to my house I would call the police and tell them she broke in and stole my stuff. This mom doesn't have a clue what to do with him.
    Posted by NOLABridesmaid[/QUOTE]
    Word!
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    edited December 2011
    H, there is something going on with this generation and their kids. It's like they don't have the skills to parent.

    They have the love thing down 100%, but the training, and discipline thing is hard for them. Saying no, having limits, giving in when the kid gets mad, etc.

    Some of this stuff is common sense. Your kid's only job is to do well in school and you're going to reward failing grades. Come again???
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    edited December 2011
    Flo, they're new to the country, but their kids are born here.
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    AuntFloAuntFlo member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited December 2011

    Durp.   I completely misunderstood what you were saying, nola.

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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_parent-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:84322c8d-41dd-407c-85f2-2866734c2c49Post:dfe88b44-fba8-439a-8d96-ced8c711ca2a">Re: Parent Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]H, there is something going on with this generation and their kids. It's like they don't have the skills to parent. They have the love thing down 100%, but the training, and discipline thing is hard for them. Saying no, having limits, giving in when the kid gets mad, etc. Some of this stuff is common sense. Your kid's only job is to do well in school and you're going to reward failing grades. Come again???
    Posted by NOLABridesmaid[/QUOTE]
    I agree with this 100%.
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