I asked what was going on and she said, "Pancreatic Cancer!" all exasperated. I know she is dealing with a lot, so I am trying to be patient with her. She always acts exasperated with me.
The first doctor said once you have pancreatic cancer, you always have it. It never goes away and you just basically keep fighting it. He gave mom 6 months to 3 years, 5 years max.
She'll start chemo right away, with the hopes of shrinking the tumor. The tumor is pressing on some "blood thing" (my sisters words exactly), so they are primarily concerned with the getting the pressure off of that. My mom has decided she isn't ever going back to work; she'll be on permanent disability from now on.
It doesn't appear to have spread as far as they can tell. She'll get a petscan to double check this. Pancreatic cancer is one that spreads easily and aggressivley. It is a mean motherfvcker.
Her onconolgist was much more hopeful. She told my mom that they are going to fight it and beat it. If the tumor shrinks enough to be operated on, the oncologist said there are only two doctors she would recommend to do that. These docs are at Cedar-Sidenai or USC. (not where my mom is now). But from what I've read, doc 1 was pretty much right.
If the tumor doesn't respond, she'll start radiation.
My mom has spoken to my youngest sister. This sis wanted to fly out this morning, but she has finals next week and would just have to turn back around for that. After finals, she'll come home for the summer. I don't know if mom is going to go to littlest sisters graduation as planned.
Other sis told me not to ask my mom a lot of questions. The plan is what it is. I told her I understand this...Seriously, I really don't need to be told how to act or how to be. <- recurring issue with us.
I called mom, no answer. I asked my sister to ask my mom if she had spoken to me when she gets to the hospital this morning, and if not, to plase ask my mom to call me. I guess mom had been asking for a lot of pain meds. This is out of character for her. If her liver functioning is normal (or better) they will release her today. Sister is encouraging mom to stay in the hospital, so she can keep getting the good pain meds.
Her brother has been visiting her, but they have not told grandpa what is going on. I guess they told him she was going in for gall stones. They will tell him today. All of this makes me thing there is more to this story than what I am being told. I guess that doesn't matter, but it is slightly upsetting.
I'm going to ask when mom wants me to come home. It's going to be a long haul, so she may not want me there right away. Sister said she is pretty much numb right now, which makes sense. I go between dumb and crying. Mom said yesterday, finding out was the hardest part. We just deal with it now.
The two cws I told/broke down in front of pretty much closed ranks and said they would cover my work for the next two days and my appearance at an upcoming conference, if neccessary.
I'm really thinking of youngest sister. She is only 21. My mom is the only parent she has ever had (not that my years with out father were something to envy).
My mom does have a will in order. She did that about a year ago.
I just can't believe this.
Thanks for being here for me guys. I'm sorry if this was incoherent....my mind's not right...I can't stop shaking.
