My father passed away when I was a baby and my mother (who was also my best friend in the world and a bridal and formalwear designer) passed away a few years ago when I was in college. My grandparents are all passed and while my brother and I are friendly and he will be in the wedding, we are not terribly close. My fiancé's parents are both living and remarried. And his mother, while being a wonderful person in many ways, is not used to not being in charge. For this exact reason we decided to pay for everything ourselves, and even specified that he will pay for the honeymoon and I will pay for the wedding (it's to be small and the honeymoon is Paris so the cost evens out), in an effort to remove some assumptions of power from my mother in law to be. For the most part the process has been easier with her than expected, I ask her opinion often, but politely and firmly let her know when we disagree or prefer something else. The big problem is parental traditions. I am walking myself down the aisle alone, which I accepted a long time ago. My fiancé was wonderful and suggested that the night before the wedding we bring some of the wedding flowers to my parents' grave, along with certain person things we are doing to remember them during the day without making it a morbid reminder. The invitations are worded as coming from my fiance and I , mentioning then that we are the children of the "late" so and so, and his parents. As we are paying for the wedding we thought it was ok to word them from us rather than our parents, but put their names on there to honor all of them as our parents. His mother told me that she and her ex husband should be mentioned and the ones inviting people (which i know is inaccurate) but she also suggested my parents shouldn't be mentioned at all because they are dead and obviously won't be at the actual wedding. We also decided to avoid having a receiving line as it would be myself and all of his family which I found awkward, and instead we will visit the tables throughout the night. His mother highly disapproves of this. We also discussed having a 'family dance' where josh and his mother and my brother and i can dance at the same time, instead of a mother-son and father daughter dance so I am not sitting down without anyone to dance with. She is also upset at this because she wants to have her moment with her son that is just about the two of them. I've spent many holidays feeling like an outsider at celebrations where she dotes on her children, and while i am pleased she cares for them so, i don't want to have that same left out sensation at my own wedding. I thought that i'd been offering alternatives that still give his mother the chance to enjoy the traditions and mention that she likes, but without leaving me in an awkward position, but she seems to disagree. Am I being selfish in worrying about how weird or alone I'd feel during these moments, or is it ok to argue this point to her? And does anyone have any suggestions in how to handle these hurdles, and others that being an orphan bride raise?