To shop alone or to not shop alone... that is the question.

kimono507

So I have to say I'm new the whole message board thing, especially for weddings...  but I need some impartial opinions on wedding dress shopping and finding the "perfect" dress.

Two weeks ago I set out on my search for a wedding dress by myself.  I went into the trip with no expectations and just wanted to get my feet went before I went out shopping with my matron of honor and two bridesmaids, but I found two that I really liked.  I felt great leaving the store!  Of course, the sales people treated me very nicely and were primping me, etc., so that helped, but overall I felt like I was on the right track to finding my gown.  I felt very strongly about the two I tried on that day and couldn't wait to show them to my friends.

Then, yesterday, kind of spur-of-the-moment, three of my friends and I went back to the store so they could see the dresses.  My best friend, my matron of honor, was so supportive and sweet and the other two were whispering and criticizing (not in an awful way about me, but about the dresses) and it made me very self-conscious about everything.  I wanted them to say, Wow!  And, when I got that reaction it made me look and second guess things and I felt awful. 

Instead of objectively looking at these dresses they kept going back to a dress I tried on earlier that was beautiful but I'm on the fence about...  It's a beautiful dress, but looks like many other dresses that other brides have worn and that's fine, but I want something that not only fits well but is uniquely me. 

After all that, my question is:  Is it bad to go out shopping by myself?  Does it give me a skewed view of the dress because the sales people are there to make a commission and not to be my friend?  Should I just go with my gut? 

I just don't know what to do.  I love those two dresses as well as the one that they like, but I'm just not sure now.

jessiegirl61610

I used to be a salesperson at David's Bridal, and saw brides shop alone, with 2 people, with 14 people...pretty much EVERYTHING when it comes to gown shopping!  I think it's better to shop by yourself, that way people's opinions aren't confusing and stressing you out.  This is YOUR day-I think ppl who go shopping with brides often forget that, if you love a dress and think it's the one, they should be supportive and say they love it (even if they hate it).  You don't want to go with your second favorite just to make others happy, because if you do, you may look back at your pictures and only wished you went with your instinct. ALWAYS go with your gut-especially with your wedding.  You friends may have been criticizing at the store, but no one would be when you walk down the isle, because (1) it will be your wedding day, and (2) when you're all made up and bride-looking everyone will think you look stunning.

jessiegirl61610

Also, your situation happened almost everyday, and this is what would happen after the bride left confused just like you are right now:  they would wait months and months and monthsbefore getting a dress since they were stressed and second guessing, and over those months would come by the store and keep re-trying on the dress they originally loved.  They would ALWAYS end up in the end coming back and going with their gut, then they had to rush to get the order and alterations in last minute.

kimono507

Thanks for your help, Jessie.  I'm going to try.  I am anxious to go out again and try on more dresses.  I've only tried on a handful so I think I need to look a bit more then decide when I feel it's right.  But, I'm going to out on my own and if I do go with anyone else it'll just be my supportive MOH.  She even pulled me aside yesterday and apologized for the not so appropriate behavior of my other friends. 

And, you're completely right about looking back and thinking about the other dress and regretting the decision.  My fiance and I have been planning for a little bit now and we haven't compromised or changed the major things we wanted because of others so I shouldn't start now.  Just hope I can shake the confusion before I go back.

AdamsGirl2012

I went dress shopping with my sister for her wedding. I didn't love the dress that she picked out and I certainly would not have chosen it for myself. However, I told her that she looked beautiful in it and as far as I know she absolutely loved the dress she got. If she ever had second thoughts about it she didn't voice them out loud and I certainly did not tell her that it wasn't my favorite dress in the world. Basically, people's styles are different. You should go with what you love! As long as you feel beautiful and confident on your wedding day thats all that really matters.

gmcr78

I imagine I'll be doing some shopping by myself or with maybe one person (my Matron of H)...and keeping it quiet.  Then when I actually pick out THE dress I'll take my mom and hopefully my out of town sister (my Maid of H), and buy it.
Our wedding is a ways out yet so I haven't started looking, but a lot of people are telling me they want to go shopping with me, etc.  I appreciate it and I'm happy that they're excited for us but I really don't want an entourage and multiple opinions weighing in.  I'm not looking for a Say Yes to the Dress experience, I'm hoping for a more personal one. 
More people usually equals more stress.