Wedding Woes

wdyt? br

dh offered up a proposed schedule.  wdyt?

dh works 9-6:30.  i work 9-5.  the daycare we want opens at 7 and closes at 6:30.

dh proposes that he gets up early in the morning, and goes to the gym.  i would wake up later, and get the baby and myself ready.  dh would be getting ready at the same time that i am, but i would have a head start with the baby.

he and i would drive into work together.  i leave work at 5, go to the gym in the basement of my building, work out, and pick up the baby by 6:30, which is when dh would meet us so we could all drive home together.

basically, his proposed schedule is intended to preserve our workouts. 

my issue with this is -- i would be getting this baby ready for the morning mostly -- if not all -- by myself, and i would also be responsible for getting the baby out by 6:30.  i don't really think that's very fair for me, and i also question whether this would be practical.  your thoughts?

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Re: wdyt? br

  • TheDuckisTheDuckis member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Do you guys go to the gym every single day now? I just don't see how a schedule like this is sustainable. What if you did it this way 2-3 times a week (which seems more realistic), and the other days he gets up with the baby and picks him/her up from daycare?
  • edited December 2011
    Your husband is precious, trying to stuff his baby into a pre-determined schedule. I don't have any kids and I know this will work for about 3 days before you're leaping at him like a rabid spider monkey.
    ..
  • 6fsn6fsn member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I did that and it wasn't horrible.  Just be flexible.  Maybe try it for a month then re-evaluate.
  • LnR70707LnR70707 member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    I find it hilarious that he thinks he will have the energy to workout after less than 2 consecutive hours of sleep.  Work out a schedule once the baby is here and actually sleeping through most of the night...it is just silly to do it now.
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  • hmonkeyhmonkey member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011

    i graduate in a few months, so this would be after all that skool nonsense.

    i was questioning the realism myself.  i just went back to the gym this morning after two weeks away, and that was just from not getting enough sleep and eating weird foods, not having a child screaming and crying in my face.

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  • edited December 2011
    I don't think he's factored in the baby. What if lil man or lil lady is not feeling his schedule? I'm all for a schedule, but time will tell if this works.

    Plus, I think it would be nice to have help with the baby in the morning, if possible.
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  • PMeg819PMeg819 member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    Try it for a week. I have a feeling it will be stressful but if you are committed to the gym, then maybe it will work. The other option is that you pick up kid from daycare, and do a family walk/run or something. Go to a park with baby in stroller.
  • HeffalumpHeffalump member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    Well, if you don't think it's very fair to you, then it sounds like a dealbreaker. 

    Do you need to commute together?  Because sooner or later, Baby Monkey will get sick, someone will need to pick him/her up, and things will get complicated if you're carpooling.

    And yeah, I hate to rain on your parade, but if your DH gets up early to go work out after three hours of interrupted sleep, then I will personally give him some kind of medal.
  • DG1DG1 member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    All of the above. You can try it, but both of you need to be prepared for all "plans" to fly right out the window.

    That said, it isn't really all that difficult to get a baby out of the door in the morning.  Harder than just getting you out the door, yes, but most of our prep happens the night before, and we tend to split up those duties depending on who has an extra half-second in their schedule.

    I think whether you are BFing or not will also make a HUGE difference here.  For one thing, if you are BFing at night, then your H is (mostly) STTN and you are a walking zombie. In that case, he should take on as much as he possibly can, even if the gym visits suffer.

    If you end up formula feeding for whatever reason, you'll be able to take turns at night and therefore divide the rest of the stuff a little more equally.

    I also think you may not want to leave the kiddo in daycare that long.  I really like our daycare, but I still don't want them there one second longer than they have to be.  Sure, sometimes I leave them there to get an hour of productivity here or there (I can grocery shop 2-3 times as fast without them), but generally speaking, I want quality kid time, because it's all so very brief.

    So, that's my two cents. :)

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  • 6fsn6fsn member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I should clarify that we weren't going to the gym.  DH works from 6 am to 5 pm.  I worked from 7 to 5.  So similarish hours total.
  • *Barbie**Barbie* member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I'm with the others on evaluating after the baby arrives and everyone is sleep deprived. This might work once the kid is a bit older and you've established the baby's schedule. 

    do you both go to the gym on a daily basis now?

    What extra work is your H taking on to make up for you taking the baby? Will he be picking up more chores at home/cooking more/hiring a maid service for you/etc. 

  • HeffalumpHeffalump member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_wdyt-br?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:8cba2046-af60-47af-9f18-5d79222f2f29Post:f4690c38-831c-471f-8658-5480ce942fe9">Re: wdyt? br</a>:
    [QUOTE]ha, if it were me, i'd *probably* factor out the gym. i am that lazy.
    Posted by Wifezzilla[/QUOTE]

    I haven't been to the gym on a weekday since DD was born, so I'm the mayor of Lazytown.
  • nicoleg1982nicoleg1982 member
    5000 Comments
    edited December 2011

    I just laughed so hard the Leg fell off my Nico!

    First, you have to decide if you're bfing.  If yes, throw away at least 30 minutes every morning just for that.  You might get in your coffee and paper while the baby eats, but that's about all you can do.

    Second, it will be a while before you can have the baby on a strict schedule.  FTR, my kid is not on a schedule at all.  It's a sleep and feed at will system going on here.  So sometimes she's up at 330am and 600am, and sometimes she's not up til 515 and then wants to go back to sleep.  She's normally in bed the same time every night, but mid-night feedings can and do happen. 

    Third, there's always a monkeywrench that comes flying out of the sky - sickness, growth spurt, teething, car troubles, etc.  You can plan as much as best you can, but there's no fool-proof way to ever prepare.

    Fourth, tell your H to shelve his schedule for now.  Check back with it 4-6 weeks after babymonkey is here.

    imageimage
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