Wedding Woes

How the Kuus Lost Santa: a classic story far inferior to Bumpa

I was posting this on TIP because it came up in conversation, when I realized that I didn't remember whether or not I'd ever told it here.  So, anyway, here it is, a completely true story of Kuus gullibility:

 

Once upon a time there was a Babykuus whose parents were super excited about celebrating Kuusmas with a kid.  They bought tons of gifts and, being too excited to contain themselves the whole way to December 25th, they decided that if you could make a kid believe that Santa was real, you could make a kid believe pretty much anything, including that there was a special Kuusmas angel that thought Babykuus was soooo special and wonderful that she deserved to find a gift in her stocking every morning starting on the 15th (and various times throughout the day on the 24th) in addition to the usual Santa gifts.  And they were right.

 

As the years went on, the gifts in the stocking were more and more like a gateway drug.  In addition to gifts, Santa, the angel, and occasionally the tooth fairy wrote Kidkuus letters telling her how wonderful and loved she was, and how much they enjoyed getting her gifts that would be a tangible reminder every time she played with them that at this very moment, Santa (or the angel, or the tooth fairy) was thinking of her and smiling.  Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on how you see it, Kidkuus was pretty smart and had a tendency to question everything, and reject anything that didn't have a rational explanation as hokum.  But knowing that Kidkuus was already a scifi fan, the Kuusparents had a plan in mind.  With every question Kidkuus asked, a scifi style explanation was given, and of course accepted.

 

By the time Kidkuus was in her early teens, she had been pen pals for many years with those semicorporeal holiday beings who were able to come from their dimension through a rift in spacetime and leave her gifts and letters.  Unfortunately they were unable to take any gifts from Kidkuus back with them, since three-dimensional objects only go through the rift one way (from there to our world; they had to ascend to pure energy to make it back through the rift themselves), but flat objects such as thank you notes and reply letters were close enough to two dimensions to make it back intact.  And interestingly, all of the beings from that dimension had similar handwriting; it was a side effect of not always having physical hands.

 

So one year at 14 I was explaining this to a new friend (the friends I'd had since grade school were used to this story, I guess, and didn't want to burst my bubble), also a scifi fan, and his eyebrows about shot through the ceiling.  Bless his heart, he didn't SAY anything about it being clearly bs - he just tentatively asked questions in that voice that indicates that the person asking is a little concerned that you might burst into flames of insanity at any moment.  You know the one I mean.  I was in the middle of answering his questions, when it hit me, all of a sudden.  Midsentence and all, I was like "Oh, yeah, when they bring the gifts they can have physical bodies, but when they go back, they... oh hell.  My parents made this up, didn't they?"

I went back to my parents and told them that the jig was up.  They laughed and said they were glad I'd enjoyed it for as long as I had, and that they still kept all the letters I wrote.  And now that I'm grown and married, Mr. Kuus and I carry on the tradition, leaving gifts and such for each other every day starting on the 15th from mysterious magical beings who love us.
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Re: How the Kuus Lost Santa: a classic story far inferior to Bumpa

  • 6fsn6fsn member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011

    This literally has me laughing out loud.  14?!

  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_kuus-lost-santa-classic-story-far-inferior-bumpa?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:8f03e80b-6107-4940-b8a3-a38c3733b22ePost:2bd70b97-839a-4b38-a880-fb30582fcb8e">Re: How the Kuus Lost Santa: a classic story far inferior to Bumpa</a>:
    [QUOTE]Min, cheap as I am, I go hogwild getting gifts for people. 
    Posted by ReturnOfKuus[/QUOTE]

    Good for KidKuus!
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  • edited December 2011
    I love this story almost as much as Bumpa. Please retell how you stopped believing in santa and magical present beings at 14 years old every year!
    this is also really sweet. Kuusparents were adorable.
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  • TheDuckisTheDuckis member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_kuus-lost-santa-classic-story-far-inferior-bumpa?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:8f03e80b-6107-4940-b8a3-a38c3733b22ePost:6970ffb7-e8b9-4346-83a8-7c74f1cb4d47">Re: How the Kuus Lost Santa: a classic story far inferior to Bumpa</a>:
    [QUOTE]14?!
    Posted by TheDuckis[/QUOTE]

    This. Lol! I love this though, i really do.
  • AuntFloAuntFlo member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    This is my new favorite Christmas story.   :)
  • edited December 2011
    If you have your own KidKuus, I 1) hope she asks as many questions as you did as a kid, and 2) don't think you would spend that much money on 10 day's worth of gifts.
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  • ReturnOfKuusReturnOfKuus member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Min, cheap as I am, I go hogwild getting gifts for people. 
    image
  • baconsmombaconsmom member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    I'm just trying to formulate a scifi explanation for the Easter Bunny's handwriting now, because I think Babykuus probably tasted like Bacon. 


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  • edited December 2011
    Kuus, this is completely awesome.

    I did something similar  to my little brother when we were kids... he had a nightmare the night before Valentine's Day, that was somehow related to Valentine's Day, so to make him feel less scared of it, I invented "Heartman."  Heartman came every Valentine's Day to bring us gifts and candy.  He was a gigantic heart with arms and legs (I even drew him in crayon), and he came in through the chimney just like Santa.  I then had to explain that my brother couldn't tell anyone about Heartman, because Heartman only came for really, really special kids, and if his friends found out, they'd be sad they weren't special like us.  I then had to wake up at the crack of dawn the next day to warn my mom my brother was expecting presents from Heartman (she was awesome about it and completely went along with it).  He proceeded to believe in Heartman until he was about 8, and my mom still signs our Valentine's Day cards "love, Heartman."
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  • zsazsa-stlzsazsa-stl member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 100 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    lol!  This is golden, I tell you, golden!
    image

    I just a friendly gal looking for options.

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  • RaptorSLHRaptorSLH member
    500 Comments First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    You have me beat!  I believed until 11.

    I used to overhear my parents arguing about money, but neither of them would talk to me about it openly.  Now, the reality was that while Mom has no fiscal discipline, we had more money than Dad made it sound like, but what my little kid brain put together was that they couldn't possibly afford all of those gifts under the tree.  I was especially certain once I got old enough to pay attention to prices in stores and catalogs, and began to grasp exactly how much money they were spending.  So, as I would gladly tell anyone who asked, Santa just had to be real, because Mom and Dad wouldn't spend that much money on us. 

    Mall Santa a fake?  Well of course he is, silly, Santa can't be everywhere at once.  That's just one of Santa's helpers, is all.  Doesn't mean Santa's not real.  Found presents in your parents' closet early?  You didn't think he actually did the trip in one night these days, did you?  You caught your parents wrapping the gifts?  Parents' handwriting on the tag?  Hey, Santa's a busy guy.  Just because your parents had to give him a hand wrapping doesn't mean they weren't from Santa.  With the core premise so well defended, all the rest was easily explained.  

    I think my little sister was embarassed I took so long to catch on.
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  • GBCKGBCK member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_kuus-lost-santa-classic-story-far-inferior-bumpa?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:8f03e80b-6107-4940-b8a3-a38c3733b22ePost:c9e897b2-51e2-43d2-bbc3-c7724ff0b9e1">Re: How the Kuus Lost Santa: a classic story far inferior to Bumpa</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm just trying to formulate a scifi explanation for the Easter Bunny's handwriting now, because I think Babykuus probably tasted like Bacon. 
    Posted by baconsmom[/QUOTE]

    <div>This is where a dog comes in handy.</div><div>Because, really, dogs tend to injure bunny-paws...</div>
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