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Wedding Woes

Don't know what to do!!!

I'm having a small wedding. I have a friend from high school who was once one of my best friends, but we have since grown apart although I consider her a friend still. My fiance and I had a lot of debates over who to invite to the wedding, and she was part of the debate. He doesn't like her because she was not supportive of our relationship in the past and was kind of openly mean to him, although she shaped her behavior up later on. Because of the past issues, we decided not to extend an invitation to her, although I would just as soon rather have, but since he felt so strongly about it, I did not.

Now it's about a month before the wedding, and the friend and I are finally talking about this, and of course there are hurt feelings but no matter what route I chose, someone would have been hurt or angry.

She doesn't understand my position. But it's not just my wedding. It's my and my fiance's wedding.

Am I in the wrong here? What should I do to smooth things over? The anxiety over this is just eating at me, but it seems there's nothing I can do.

Re: Don't know what to do!!!

  • if its a battle worth picking w your soon-to-be, then go ahead.  but, if not, back off and you can work on your relationship w her (and she should take that time to work on her relationship w him too) outside of the wedding.  hes the one youre spending your life w.  is she "worth" it?
  • aprilmaple- Wow your story almost is the same as mine concerning one of my best friends from high school.  When she met FI, she was mean to me and I found out later it was because she was jealous that I was in a serious relationship and she was still single. 

    Now FI and I had chatted about, my friend is invited to our wedding, but years ago I had always thought she would be my MOH but after all that has happened, there is no way.  She was hurt that she wasn't picked to be a bridesmaid, but I explained to her that we aren't as close anymore and that I wanted to work on our friendship. 

    So I guess if you really want her there, I would talk to FI about it.  Explain to him how you feel.  I know that FI kinda didn't want my friend at our wedding, but I explained how I felt to him and he was very understanding and she has been invited.  Anyways I hope that the situation with your friend gets better :)

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