Wedding Woes

Married "out of the house"

Hi All,

I had a really interesting conversation with my dad yesterday where he expressed his deep concern about me not "getting married out of the house."   I had no idea what he meant by this expression.  He continued to tell me that it is traditional for the bride to sleep at the house she grew up in the night before the wedding and get dressed for the wedding in the house.   It is clear that this is a really big deal for my dad and will be just as much of a way to honor him as letting him walk me down the aisle.   I tried to do some more research on the concept through friends and online, in effort to understand him better.   I can't find anything.

Have any of you guys heard about this idea?   Could you explain it to me?  What are your thoughts on it!

Thanks in advance for your help!
Amanda

Re: Married "out of the house"

  • This is what my parents expect of me, if only because I'm coming in from out of town. I know my mom did the same thing even though she lived in the same town she got married in (as did her parents), because she wanted the first time my dad saw her on their wedding day to be at the wedding. I want to spend the night at my parents house and get ready at the venue, and that's going to be hard to convince them to accept.
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  • I think your dad is making a big deal out of nothing.  People used to spend the night before the wedding at their parents' houses because that's where they lived.  Now, it's just a big annoyance involving bringing all your toiletries and such somewhere else and sharing a bathroom with more people.  Not worth the hassle, IMO.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_married-out-of-house?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:9201225c-1d55-48f0-ba8e-c5eb224bbbfdPost:025ae608-383c-4552-8e9d-a7c223d29769">Re: Married "out of the house"</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think your dad is making a big deal out of nothing.  People used to spend the night before the wedding at their parents' houses because that's where they lived .  Now, it's just a big annoyance involving bringing all your toiletries and such somewhere else and sharing a bathroom with more people.  Not worth the hassle, IMO.
    Posted by ReturnOfKuus[/QUOTE]

    Agreed. Although if you're bringing all of your toiletries and crap to the venue, that's just as much trouble (more, really, since you can't leave the toiletries at the venue like you could if you brought them to your parents' house), though you'll be less wrinkled if you get dressed at the venue.

    You have to get dressed somewhere. Many churches (and other venues) don't have a place for you to get dressed. Many brides don't live in the same town as their parents and can't get dressed at their own home anyway. Some cohabitating couples want to spend the night before the wedding apart, either to preserve the "groom doesn't see the bride on the wedding day until the wedding" tradition, or just to make things a little more special. Some people's parents live closer to the venue or have a bigger space for everyone to get ready in. Other people's parents live far away and have one tiny bathroom.

    Where were you planning to get dressed? I'd maybe list the *practical* pros and cons of the different options. I don't see any emotional or traditional reason for or against any specific location, but if it makes your dad happy and is not a big deal, why not do it?

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  • Thanks for the advice ladies.   The catch here is that I live in LA and the house I grew up in is in NY.   I am hoping to have an LA wedding but one of my dad's big arguements for a NY wedding is so I can get "married out of the house."   I certainly want to honor him by doing this if possible so it was helpful to hear your input. 
  • Okay, your dad is being an anus.  Have the wedding where you want.
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