Hello,
I am "pre-engaged" (until after grad school), and I am having a MAJOR dilemma with my guest list, particularly when it comes to my father and siblings....
You see, I was raised by my mother as an only child, but within the past year, I have re-connected with my biological father. I have since discovered that I am the 2nd of 9 children!!!! I have met and begun building a relationship with my older brother and his mother, but have yet to meet the rest of my siblings. I am planning on meeting them later in the year.
I know I want to invite my older brother and his mother (and my brother's son and fiance), but I am unsure about whether I should invite my other siblings, or even my biological father.
My father has my older brother, and then me, then two with his ex-wife, and 5 with his current wife. The youngest is 7 years old. All 8 of my siblings are very close. I am the only one that most of them have not met. I feel like if I invite my oldest sibling, I would have to invite the rest, and if I invite all my siblings, then I would have to invite my father as well, and if I invite my father, then I have to invite his current wife.
My family is very old-fashioned, and the circumstances of my birth aren't usually discussed, so it will be very awkward for my family to learn about my father and siblings at my wedding. I am also worried about the awkwardness of having my mom, my brother's mom, my father, AND his wife all in one place, basically meeting for the first time.
My boyfriend and I are looking to get married in the summer of 2013, so that gives me SOME time to form relationships with them, but they live far away from me, and seeing as how my boyfriend and I are grad students, and my father is a bus driver who financially supports 7 children, no one really has the financial means to afford more than 1 or 2 visits a year.
My mother is ok with my father, my brother, and my brother's family being there, but she is concerned about how inviting the whole brood will affect the rest of my family. Also, it will be difficult to explain to my future in-laws. I am lucky that my boyfriend has been so supportive and accepting of me and my situation, but I am unsure of how his family would react.
Any feedback would be greatly appreciated! Thanks in advance.