Wedding Woes
Options

need ediquette advice

i need help on my wording... we do not need any gifts.. however cash/ gift cards would be useful to help cover the costs of the wedding and honeymoon.

so far this is what is what i have but i think it sounds terrible

Accepting cash/ gift cards rather than registered gifts.

please help me :)

Re: need ediquette advice

  • Options
    edited December 2011
    ::snort::
  • Options
    nannewmurnannewmur member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You did not specify but I assume this is on your invitation?

    No one is obligated to give you a gift.  If they choose to give you a gift, it is THEIR choice.  It is extremely poor taste to say anything about a gift on a wedding invite. 

    If this is for a shower invite, you still should not say anything about the best gift is money.  The best way of spreading this info is by word of mouth from OTHERS (mom, sisters, future inlaws, etc) and not you.  If you do not have enough $$ presently for your wedding, you need to rethink because you are inviting them  to be your guest, not pay for their own party.

    I have seen shower invitations that have guided guest to a website noted on invite and eluded that it was hard to register for anything since the house is well stocked  (a nice way of saying give money without being that blatent!!)
  • Options
    edited December 2011
    Just dont do it!! This is considered VERY poor etiguette since gifts are just that gifts not expectations.
    Married since 5/21/2011
    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
  • Options
    TheDuckisTheDuckis member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My favorite part of this post is all the creative spellings of etiquette. You guys know there's a spell check button, right?
  • Options
    GBCKGBCK member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    There's really not a polite way to mention gifts.

    I you do nothing, chances are, people will ask.  At which point, the person they ask (which will be mom & dad and MOH and sister and whomever at least as often as it is you) can say "Oh, The kids don't really need much, they have stuff for their house--I know money to help cover (something specific--NOT the wedding--Their trip to zombabwe, whatever) would be nice".

    But if you just get the word out you want cash, expect a certain amount of 'stuff'.  Depending on your family and culture, in some subsets, it's just "NOT DONE" to give money, period.  So if you don't give some direction on 'stuff', they'll get you stuff w/o your direction.
  • Options
    DG1DG1 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_need-ediquette-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:94724714-3d14-41a3-9fb6-33c2d270585ePost:dc9e3cbe-680b-4f89-847a-90c37f7c34c6">need ediquette advice</a>:
    [QUOTE]i need help on my wording... we do not need any gifts.. however cash/ gift cards would be useful to help cover the costs of the wedding and honeymoon. so far this is what is what i have but i think it sounds terrible Accepting cash/ gift cards rather than registered gifts. please help me :)
    Posted by amandaschade[/QUOTE]


    for bmom, just in case.

    image
  • Options
    baconsmombaconsmom member
    5 Love Its First Answer First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Gift: something given voluntarily without payment in return, as
     to show favor toward someone, honor an occasion, 
    or make agesture of assistance; present.

    Bolding is mine; definition is dictionary.com

    You cannot, ever, tell someone what they should get you. If they ask - IF THEY ASK, let me stress that - you can tell them your house is fully stocked. You can say there's really nothing you need. You can tell them that having them come celebrate with you is all you'd like. 

    But you cannot ask for cash, and you especially cannot do so on your invitation. 
    image
  • Options
    edited December 2011
    If you don't create a registry, people will then most likely just give cash or checks for a wedding gift, if they plan to give a gift. 

    It is rude to expect a gift for your wedding, but as per my family culture, it is also consider it rude to go to a wedding and not bring a small gift as a wedding guest.  So chances are that your guests will just give money if you do not register somewhere.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • Options
    LnR70707LnR70707 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    If someone was tacky enough to request cash/gift cards on an invite I received, I'd purposely buy them a gift from some unheard of store without a gift receipt.
    br>imageimage
    IF/Baby Blog
    2 years, 2 surgeries, 2 clomid fails, 2 IUIs, 1 loss, IVF #1 - 10/25/10 = BFP!
    TTC #2 - 6/12 surgery #3, FET #1 & 1.2 = BFN, 12/2012 FET #2 = BFP!
    Lilypie Premature Baby tickersLilypie First Birthday tickers


    I can't wait for the "im getting a divorce" post in 5 years or so because your husbands were fed up with your disgusting chair asses from playing on the knot all day and getting fired 4-5 times for not doing any work. you guys are all winners!! ~ Laur929
  • Options
    Butter CookieButter Cookie member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    How about:

    The steak was $78 a head and the chicken was $67 a head. Please bring a per person cost to our wedding. Please add another $10 for each drink you have at our open bar. Don't forget to tip the bartender!
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • Options
    amandaschadeamandaschade member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    thsnk you for your help
  • Options
    amandaschadeamandaschade member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    thank you for your help
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards