I am so finished with this whole wedding thing. I would gladly sit through a root canal than continue thinking about all the small crap that has to be done. So here it goes...
I've had no fun with this whole wedding planning crap...when is the fun supposed to happen? When is this supposed fun time supposed to start. Its just one huge stress fest.
FI is the just give me the time and place and i show up kind of guy. "its all for you, its what you want, so go plan it." Nevermind that this is *OUR* He'll be present for the marriage, just not for the whole wedding planning.
We are having an "ethnic" wedding so there are many customs and traditions that are incoporated into the wedding. FI is not of the same culture so talking to him about any of this stuff is as good as talking to the wall. Basically i'll get the same response. We are both paying for the wedding. so we have a tiny budget and have eliminated sooooo much. I have used each and every personal and professional contact to get discounts and freebies. I've hand made all of our 130 invitations (in two languages). Planning on hand making lots of other things. So we are squeezing every penny as much as we can. On top of all this about 3 months ago FI got laid off. We count postpone cuz invites had been sent, deposits had been put, church was booked. So we squeezed everything we had to accomidate.
FMIL and FFIL are helping us. They will be giving our wedding presents early so that we can pay for the hall and other expenses. They are wonderful...especially FMIL (even in a fixed income she is contribuing so much to us). My Mom is also contributing (economy has been so bad that she was laid off around the time FI was but she found a job within a week.) She has decided and will be selling off some of her old jewlery so that she can help us pay for the wedding. So she is also stretching herself. Mind you that we have not asked anyone for assistance. It has all been offered to us. My Father on the other hand threw a hissy fit when I didnt want to invite a friend of his that i dont like and that doesnt like me. He basically said that he is coming to the wedding as a guest. He isnt going to his daughter's wedding but the wedding of his ex-wifes daughter. yay! go dad and your maturity. Since then he has organized a huge 60th bday party for himself, bought a new car, and went on vacation for a month (to a far away land). and wont be back till 2 weeks until my wedding. again yay dad and your maturity.
so now i get a call from my mom about a specific component of the wedding that has to happen because again we are adhearing to tradition and no there is no way around it we have to have it. She informs me that it will cost $400 dollas and btw its somthing that the grooms family is supposed to do. (a little bit of background, in our culture the groom and his family are the ones that pay for the wedding, they host it all) I tell her that i cant ask my FMIL and FFIL by the way you have to pay for this and get this too. They are already paying for certain things in addition to their gifts. So my mom says that we should pay for it. and i just dont have anywhere in the damn budget as to where i would squeeze to get that money. I mean i just dont have it. maybe if my FI was working and we had some extra money we might swing it but we just dont have it. and now she cant pay for it because she is already paying for other things in this day long event and hosting everyone for the lunch before the ceremony....so now i'm stuck in the middle.
oh yeah theres more...by the way the florist who is a family friend forgot to add in the cost of the "so-and-so" flowers so thats gonna be another $475 out of the budget that we dont have.
so now i'm sitting here stressed to hell not knowing what to do. this was supposed to be the greatest time, planning the wedding...yeah right...I was lied to! Its fun for the people that have the $50,000 budget. not for the folks with the shoe string budget.
and yes i work, typically 10-12 hrs a day, 5-6 days a week. and yes FI has been job hunting but nothing yet. And yes we have cut out lots of things. No rehearsal dinner, no musicians (ipod dj), friend is making the cake for just the cost of materials, no engagement photos, no engagement ring, no coctail hour, no cocktail music, family style food, minimal selection of booze, DIY make up and hair. so i donno what or from where to cut to pay for other things. i'm now cutting out the two ceremony flower arrangments that we had to free up money. so the ceremony will have no flowers.
sorry for the long post. nope dont have a blog, but thanks for listening/reading and if
Wonderw1fe had a blog i'd read it daily.