Wedding Woes
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Someone opened up a can of worms... Kind of long

Seriously! My FMIL decided to call me and say that are Vegas wedding is going to wind up being pretty expensive so why don't we pool or money and have a wedding here in Missouri. Then she says it's about all of our guest not being able to attend. Basically we were supposed to have less than 20 people originally. 4 of them being my family. Now we are up to almost 40 and I still only have 5. I was okay with that because it was my VIPs. My mom, my uncle and aunt that raised me, one of my sisters and my cousin who is practically my little sister. I was severly irritated by this but I kept my mouth shut. I explained we chose Vegas because we could host it on the internet and those not traveling (i.e. grandparents and other family) would be able to watch it at home. We also wanted something fun and the same 5 that are going to Vegas would be the only ones able to travel to our home.

So I decided to go ahead and have a conversation with my parents because I kept gettign the feeling that they were all very stressed about something. ANd i kept hearing the words "can't afford". Basically, my aunt and uncle were waiting on  a settlement check that has yet to come and are trying to srap together the $3,000 they offered us for our wedding and still be able to travel to the wedding. So I told them don't worry about paying for the wedding. They are still having an extremely tough time financially. My mom makes less than $10.00 an hour and can't really afford to travle much less pay for anything. I am just irritated that they were not honest with me about this prior to me booking everything. I knew it would be tight but they just seemed to keep telling me everything was going to be fine. Now I feel like a selfish brat because I realized how much they were struggling and never told me.

So now I have a decision to make... Do I stick with Vegas because I have everything booked and ready to go or do I switch to an Atlanta wedding and get to have my entire family with me (which is important to me and I barely see them due to the distance)? We found a really nice historic building that my aunt can rent for 69 for the whole day! It fits 75 people and includes chairs and tables. We would just have to get food, drinks, and entertainment. They allow you to bring in  anything you want except alcohol (which is fine because my mother is a recovering alcoholic and I feel uncomfortable with that).

Just feel like I missed some major facts in making my original decision and now feel really bad either way I go!  I mean I know now that my family is really stretching themselves to accomodate what I wanted where as his mom is only worried about what she wants! GGGGRRRR.... where was everyone 4 months ago when I was trying to make the deicision originally. Oh and all of this came up after his sister started planning her wedding and his cousin got married in a nice elaborate ceremony... I can't afford that because my family is broke. They want to do what they can but that is not much. And I refuse to take away my Uncle's only chance to walk one of his "daughters" down the aisle without having to share her with her sperm donor father or my Mom's first chance to be the Mother of the Bride.

Sorry if this makes no sense... I have been so stressed for days and I am just trying to make sense of it!
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