Wedding Woes

I can not buy pads for my friend. No Sir.

I got this in my FB inbox today. 

FSIL that is prego just had her baby shower. She's due early May. She's the one that told Fi the day we told family we're engaged to wait until she has a baby so she can be the first. 

Anyway, I got this in my inbox from her bfs mom

We are having a "surprise" personal shower for M on Saturday, April 17th at Cousinos. We are doing at 12:00, everyone buys their own lunch. I'm only inviting family, and would love for you and Nate to come if you can. Get her things to take to the hospital with her, like p.j.'s , and lotions, things like that. I'm going to get her a pedicure, so her toes can look cute when she delivers!!! Hope you can make it!!!

Am I wrong to feel really uncomfortable with this? Don't get me wrong, I think it's a really sweet idea, but only in theory. 

I talked to my SILs and older sister about what they wish they brought when they gave birth and they just said extra undies and pads. So that's what I'm getting her, along with some sock slippers

 I guess my issue is that we just bought her a bunch of stuff for her shower, yes for the baby. But I'm sorry, anyone that I've known pregnant was way too uncomfortable at 9 months to even care about their feet or if their skin was super soft. Idk. To me it just seems sort of frivolous.
We are going, yes. But only because we missed the shower (Fi had to work, no he could not take off) and she was really upset that we weren't there
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Re: I can not buy pads for my friend. No Sir.

  • nicoleg1982nicoleg1982 member
    5000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    They give you a shitton of pads at the hospital - you need them more when you get home.  IMO, all of that is way too personal to buy someone whose vag is recovering from being a "Whack a Mole" game.
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  • DG1DG1 member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    "whack a mole" reminds me of last week's Office.  "duh. Whacking moles!"

    And yeah. You don't need any more pads or panties than the hospital gives you.  I got pedicures shortly before each birth, but that's just me.  I'm a pedicure whore and would get them weekly (heck, daily), if that was in any way cost- or time-justifiable.

    I could imagine maybe PJs or loungewear for after you get home. Maybe some nursing bras (or a GC for them, since you never know how big your knockers will be once the milk comes in).  But you can only have so much of that stuff, too.

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  • hmonkeyhmonkey member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011

    oh dear heavens.  just give her cash.

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  • awesome-sauceawesome-sauce member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011

    One of my sisters told me that she needed extra panties, pj (gown type) and pads the most. I would want to buy my own, because i'm picky like that. (If someone graciously gave me that as a gift, I would smile and thank them, though.)

    Maybe for a sister, I doubt for a friend, and not at a personal shower that sounds like it's for women and men.

    .
  • TheDuckisTheDuckis member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Am I wrong in thinking that a baby shower is meant to provide gifts for the baby? The term "personal shower" rubs me the wrong way. If she wants to look "cute" when she delivers she can bring her own nail polish to the hospital. I would give pads and underpants simply as a passive-agressive gesture to let her know I'm not playing into this thinly-veiled attempt at a spa-themed gift grab.
  • edited December 2011
    Am I the only one who would be WTFing all over the place if someone got me pads as a gift?
    "I would be sad if sex was only about the climax, lame." Someone who is obviously doing it wrong
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  • edited December 2011
     I have a lot of problems with your FMIL's email invitation for a second baby shower.... I would be miffed if I were you, too!  If sounds like husbands/brothers will be there also? Hmm.. The things that she will REALLY need for herself are things that husbands and brothers probably dont want to be around in public...nipple cream, big cotton undies....

    Also, if she is asking you to attend this second shower and also to bring another present, I feel like she should be picking up the lunch tab at least.  The fact that she is asking you to bring another gift is tacky enough in itself.


  • edited December 2011
    And she invited you via Facebook?

    It only gets worse the more you think about it! Buy her some slipper socks and put it out of your mind.
  • awesome-sauceawesome-sauce member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011

    I agree..Nola, you need to buy your own nipple cream. Wink

    (Edit: I like emoticons.)

    .
  • 6fsn6fsn member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Wait a minute- is she going to be opening these gifts in the restaurant?  In that case I'd get the biggest box of generic overnight pads with wings I could possibly find.

    Really though I didn't need any of that at the hospital and who wants to lug it home? 
  • NukkeNukke member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    How happy she'll be when she's pushing that basketball through a pinhole that her toes look pretty!  I can see getting her a foot massage, but painting her toenails?

    I'd be miffed.  A "personal" shower is weird enough without the men and pads. 


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  • baconsmombaconsmom member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    Hold up - these "guests" have to BUY THEIR OWN LUNCH AT THE SHOWER? 

    And then there's a diktat about the gifts? 

    No. No no no no no no no no. Did I say No yet? Jesus be a Miss Manners book. 
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