My mom's family is Dutch; my great-grandparents came over here when they were children. There is nothing my immediate family does that is Dutch. Other than a few words of Dutch, we don't speak the language, we don't regularly converse with family members in The Netherlands, etc. My grandma is an exception to that.
So last night I call my mom to talk about her watching The Boy one day this week. We end up talking about how I was sick this weekend and didn't bake any cookies, etc. The one time of year my mom gets Dutch is at Christmas and it's in the form of baking. Dutch sweets are yummy so it's all good. My mom informs she has almond paste to make almond bars (banket). I tell her that I probably won't have time. Note: speculaas and olie bollen are other Dutch treats.
And the conversation goes like this:
PMeg: "It's a lot of work. And I have work this week."
Mom: "But you know you want them, they are so tasty."
P: "Yes, but I'm sure we'll be fine without it."
Mom: "But what about speculaas?"
P: "Well did you make them? I'll eat them when we are at your house."
Mom: "Yes, but you have to make them too. What about DH? He'll want them too."
P: "I don't have time. He can eat a few at your house."
Mom: "Are you making olie bollen?"
P: (rolling eyes because how is making a farking Dutch donut hole any less time consuming) "No. I don't have time"
And this goes on and on. Until I ask why I have to make all of this when she clearly has, and I can eat one or two that she's made instead of having a house full of this stuff to eat.
"Because it's what we do!"
We does not mean me, or her, or my sister. It does not mean my extended family. It means this is what Dutch people do at the holidays. And then I point out to her that we're not really Dutch, just descended from people who were. All the while I'm going "Oh White People" in my head.