And then it veered into 'WTF?' territory.
Dear Prudence,
I'm a single guy in my late 20s with a steady job and lots of good boyfriend qualities. I'm at the point in my life where I'd like to settle down and maybe start a family. The problem is that I have had a horrible time with women, and it pretty much always comes back to the same problem: I have a very small penis. I have a condition called micropenis, and it has been the cause of the end of a few relationships. One of my ex-girlfriends couldn't stop giggling and said, "Aww, it's so cute!" the first time she saw it. I've had several relationships fizzle out immediately after we start getting intimate. I’m starting to get desperate. I can't wait around forever to find a mate who's willing to accept me, and I don't want to trap a woman in an unhappy and unfulfilling marriage where she ends up sneaking around on me. My sex life hasn’t been all that pleasurable because there's so much embarrassment and my partner never enjoys it. I've thought about posting personal ads that mention it upfront and asking for a one-sided open relationship. I would be monogamous but my partner would have my blessing to have an occasional lover on the side. I have a feeling I'll probably have to settle for something like this regardless—either behind my back or with my knowledge. Do you think this is a realistic idea, or would I be just setting myself up to get hurt and manipulated? Should I continue to play the field and hope to find a woman who'll accept my shortcomings (pun intended)?
—Lonely