Wedding Woes

He had my sympathy until he came up with his 'solution'...

And then it veered into 'WTF?' territory.

Dear Prudence,

I'm a single guy in my late 20s with a steady job and lots of good boyfriend qualities. I'm at the point in my life where I'd like to settle down and maybe start a family. The problem is that I have had a horrible time with women, and it pretty much always comes back to the same problem: I have a very small penis. I have a condition called micropenis, and it has been the cause of the end of a few relationships. One of my ex-girlfriends couldn't stop giggling and said, "Aww, it's so cute!" the first time she saw it. I've had several relationships fizzle out immediately after we start getting intimate. I’m starting to get desperate. I can't wait around forever to find a mate who's willing to accept me, and I don't want to trap a woman in an unhappy and unfulfilling marriage where she ends up sneaking around on me. My sex life hasn’t been all that pleasurable because there's so much embarrassment and my partner never enjoys it. I've thought about posting personal ads that mention it upfront and asking for a one-sided open relationship. I would be monogamous but my partner would have my blessing to have an occasional lover on the side. I have a feeling I'll probably have to settle for something like this regardless—either behind my back or with my knowledge. Do you think this is a realistic idea, or would I be just setting myself up to get hurt and manipulated? Should I continue to play the field and hope to find a woman who'll accept my shortcomings (pun intended)?

—Lonely

Re: He had my sympathy until he came up with his 'solution'...

  • What other solution do you think he'll really find?  He sounds like he's been through the wringer, trying to have a hetereo-normative relationship and it's not going to work.  Sure, he can hold on for that one woman who might be okay with it, but how long should he wait.

    This sounds like a perfect reason to have an open marriage and/or polyamourous relationships.

    I wonder if he can have children.
  • I just saw a show on ID about this and he became a serial rapist. His small penis was the major reason, and he was crazy as all get out.

    This has to be hard for a guy, but there are many small men that are married.

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  • tawillerstawillers member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited March 2013
    This sounds like an awful problem, but my mind immediately went to:


  • DED @ Taw.

    I feel really bad for the guy.  I'm sure he'll find a nice girl out there who will love him someday.  And if he's really skilled at oral, I could probably learn to look past his other shortcomings.
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • I think what he thinks he'll have to settle for won't make him happy either...at least that's what I'm reading from the tone of his letter.  It's more, "I'm resigned to this fate." 

    That's the "WTF?" part to me.  It makes me sad for him and my advice would be to explore these things in counseling.

  • I don't think the problem is his micropenis - I think it's his *attitude* about the micropenis. There are so many ways to have a fulfilling sex life with someone, but he seems to think that only intercourse will do. 

    Guy needs counseling. Lots of it. 
    image
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