Wedding gift theft.....

MegMurrHogue

I'm planning the where to put the tables and what not for my upcoming wedding and I'm wondering where to put the gift table.....My dilemma comes from a co-workers boyfriend. She has been on and off with him for the last few years due to his drug problems and him being in and out of jail for theft. He recently just got out of jail and is clean (for the moment...and hopefully for good). Both my husband to be and I are worried about him steeling cards with cash and checks in them. Several of my coworkers have voiced the same sentiment. I'm close with my coworker and she is even helping me set up the wedding but I'm really worried about her boyfriend targeting our wedding. She has even made an offhanded comment about our gifts being their payment for their help with the set up.... I don't want to bar him from the wedding all together if he really is clean and trying to be on the right path....but his past behavior worries me. How should I handle my dilemma without offending my friend?

StephBeanWed61502

Is there a bridal suite or separate room where you can put the gifts?  If you don't put out a card box or gift table, people will likely ask you where to put gifts.  You can then take them and bring them into the separate room, which you can keep locked.

DG1

I hate to offer a band-aid for such a situation, but...

Buy/make a card box with a lock. There's still the risk that he would kindly offer to put someone's card in the box for them, but that doesn't seem likely.

Do what you can to get people to send you gifts instead of bringing them to the wedding, too. I'm always shocked that people think it is a good idea to bring a gift to the wedding itself.

ETA: "Do what you can" refers to more word-of-mouth stuff, similar to if you were interested in getting cash vs. gifts. Never put it on an invitation or say so outright, but if people ask, let them know you'd prefer shipped gifts for both convenience and security. (Plenty of people have theft issues, even if they don't have recovering drug addicts as wedding guests.)

MegMurrHogue

We are thinking of having one of my grooms trusted friend kind of watch him

MegMurrHogue

There is but its on a different floor so it might be kinda weird....but maybe transport the gifts after or during the ceremony?

MegMurrHogue

That's a great idea! Thanks!

sweetredhead

We had a similar situation. It was my H's family. They tend to belief they deserve things that are ours because they are broke. I told my close cousin about this and she and her husband placed themselves close to the gifts and kept a close eye on them. My FIL did pick up a card at one point my my cousin in law went over and talked to him so he put it back.

hmonkey

you need someone to watch the table.  and i mean a hired hand, not a friend who will miss out on the wedding because they have to play guard dog.

sadly, a locked box doesn't always work because thiefie can always just steal the whole box (actually happened at a wedding my sister went to).