A C&P and a speculative poll

ReturnOfKuus

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wtxgirl25

Joined on 03-10-2008

Texas

146 Posts

366 Points

My finace just found out he has another child...

We found out yesterday afternoon that FI has a second daughter.  He has a 12 yr old daughter from a previous relationship, and has played an active role in her life since she was born.  He's a great dad.  Around 2 months ago he received papers claiming he fathered a child who is now 7 yr old (and she lives in another state).  This was the first we'd heard anything about the child.  He took the paternity test and we found the child is his daughter. 

My stomach has been in knots and I'm just not sure what to think.  We are getting married in just 2 months and this isn't something that I thought we would be dealing with.  He was in his early 20's when this happened and he has changed A LOT since then...has grown up a lot and we are now actively involved in church. 

We want to be involved in her life now that we know about her.  We don't know much about her mother or her family life.  We don't know what her mother's intentions are now.  I assume that she is only interested in money at this point.  If she wanted the child to know her father, she could have contacted FI years ago.  I'm just not sure what to think about all of this. 

I have so many thoughts and emotions right now.  There are so many questions.  I'm also worried about the financial end of things.  Our wedding is coming up soon and we are paying for that and our honeymoon with no help from others.  If the mother wants back pay for child support, we will be in a financial bind.  FI and I have no problem paying child support, but I do think it's unfair for him to be expected to shell out money for 7 yrs of her life, considering he never knew about the child and didn't have the opportunity to know her during those years.  We will go to court soon and I guess everything will be figured out there. 

Has anyone else been through this?  What did you do?  My emotions are all over the place right now.



POLL:

1.  Do condoms keep breaking for this guy, or did he have a track record of not wrapping it up?  What is your best guess?

2.  How many surprise children and STDs will show up during their marriage, do you think?

ichellemay1

I think he wasn't wrapping it up.  I would definitely have him and myself tested for STDs ASAP.

dharmabunny

1) Condoms?  You mean those expensive water balloons??

2) Let's see.  Two more illigitmate children, three within the marriage, 2 STD's and a new species of STD never documented before.  CDC researchers will receive a Nobel prize in biology for their work on studying it.

Butter Cookie

Kuus, maybe he looks like Al B. Sure and so women keep poking holes in the condom so they can have his babies?

ReturnOfKuus

I should ask if they have flippers.

Butter Cookie

I assumed the flippers were from your side, but yes, that could be.

zsazsa-stl

He might be like my friend's son who declared himself infertile after his first gf didn't get pregnant and then refused to use any form of bc from that point forward.

baconsmom

"He's a great dad."

This is factually incorrect. 

Also, I love how her H was in his early 20s, and has changed A LOT, but obviously the mother of this child is just a gold-digging whore. She couldn't possibly have changed A LOT and then decided it was wrong to keep a child from its father, oh, no. 

Feh. I hate people.