How to wed an introvert and an extrovert???

roadspavedwithgold

I'm in tears, people. I need help. I am an introvert. 100%. Not shy, not afraid of people, but prefer limited company, close friends in very small numbers, and practicality. My fiance, on the other hand, in a social butterfly - frankly, he's attached via lifeline to every person he's ever met. I want to ELOPE. He dreams of a huge wedding. We're supposed to be married next June. Until now, I resigned myself to give him what would make him happy, since the wedding is important to him, not me; but I realized I'm dreading my wedding. I'm going to have to drink myself through this thing. I can't wait for it to be over.

What can I do to compromise this wedding so I don't want to disappear into the floor but he still gets his dream wedding?

[Deleted User]

I can't say I'm in the exact position as you are, but I understand how you feel. I wanted to elope or have a very small destination wedding, but FI and families wanted the bigger wedding.  When I decided to make this compromise, I sat down with FI and we discussed why I wanted to elope or have a small wedding and figured out little ways to include the more intimate feel into a wedding with more guests. (We are talking about doing a sweetheart table instead of a head table with the entire wedding party.)

I would suggest writing down some ideas that you liked about eloping vs. the bigger wedding and sharing that with your FI.  Figure out ways together to include your ideas and his ideas.  You shouldn't be dreading your wedding so make sure the lines of communication stay open during the planning process so you don't feel like you are disappearing into the floor.

*Barbie*

if you're not capable of talking this out with your FI, you have no business marrying the guy.

DG1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_wed-introvert-extrovert?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:acf21e68-b3d6-4528-bbad-337413359eedPost:02a6696f-f8bb-4fdb-ab34-a8e1ce5c1643">How to wed an introvert and an extrovert???</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm in tears, people. I need help. I am an introvert. 100%. Not shy, not afraid of people, but prefer limited company, close friends in very small numbers, and practicality. My fiance, on the other hand, in a social butterfly - frankly, he's attached via lifeline to every person he's ever met. I want to ELOPE. He dreams of a huge wedding. We're supposed to be married next June. Until now, I resigned myself to give him what would make him happy, since the wedding is important to him, not me; but I realized I'm dreading my wedding. I'm going to have to drink myself through this thing. I can't wait for it to be over. What can I do to compromise this wedding so I don't want to disappear into the floor but he still gets his dream wedding?
Posted by roadspavedwithgold[/QUOTE]

Agreed. What does your FI say about this?

Also, how on earth do you handle everyday life, if he wants to go out and party and you want to stay home and watch a movie?

RebeccaB88

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_wed-introvert-extrovert?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:acf21e68-b3d6-4528-bbad-337413359eedPost:8f83264e-a5f0-48f0-a433-bf3999403824">Re: How to wed an introvert and an extrovert???</a>:
[QUOTE]if you're not capable of talking this out with your FI, you have no business marrying the guy.
Posted by *Barbie*[/QUOTE]

This.

roadspavedwithgold

I'm perfectly capable. However, I wanted to come to him with a few ideas instead of expecting him to come up with all the answers. He's deployed right now, and the last thing I want to do is put that pressure on him. It's hard enough planning this wedding separately. 

As for everyday life, it's not a problem. We hang out with our friends, if we want to party we do, if he wants to party he goes. I don't need him around me all the time or vice versa. It's only in having such an event as a wedding that it is a problem. 

roadspavedwithgold

And thanks JenJen2112, that was actually a helpful response instead of a criticism of my engagement.