Wedding Woes
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OMG. Must. Vent. Now.


Ok so I really need to vent to women who are planning thier wedding too because it seems like no one else understands...

I have a little more than 3 months left till the wedding and I am thinking that they are going to be the most stressful. Ugh. I know that all of the little things are left now like the centerpieces and the favors and such, but I don't feel like I am getting much help from my family! And if they do help, they just want to tell me how to do it!! On top of that, FH barely tells his parents anything about the wedding which they are not helping pay for at all..totally fine, but still at least tell them SOME things!

FH thinks I am constantly stressing about everything, but thats because I am DOING everything...he just wants me to do whatever will make me happy, but I still need his input! All of this going on AND I am in the process of trying to find a new job because my company is downsizing and laid me off... I have till the middle of April to find something else.

I hate fighting with him because its usually over the dumb things, but I could really just use his help and I'm not getting so much of that from him. We are going to our required Marriage Prep this weekend and it seems like half of the things we are going to talk about, we should've talked about BEFORE we got engaged...

Any advice to make me feel better would be great :)
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Re: OMG. Must. Vent. Now.

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    zsazsa-stlzsazsa-stl member
    First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_omg-must-vent-now?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:ad8c9526-4065-42a6-95ae-c90210949791Post:7742d5d3-a263-4094-9db6-f634b9dd6c8b">OMG. Must. Vent. Now.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ok so I really need to vent to women who are planning thier wedding too because it seems like no one else understands... I have a little more than 3 months left till the wedding and I am thinking that they are going to be the most stressful. Ugh. I know that all of the little things are left now like the centerpieces and the favors and such, but I don't feel like I am getting much help from my family! And if they do help, they just want to tell me how to do it!! On top of that, FH barely tells his parents anything about the wedding which they are not helping pay for at all..totally fine, but still at least tell them SOME things! FH thinks I am constantly stressing about everything, but thats because I am DOING everything...he just wants me to do whatever will make me happy, but I still need his input! All of this going on AND I am in the process of trying to find a new job because my company is downsizing and laid me off... I have till the middle of April to find something else. I hate fighting with him because its usually over the dumb things, but I could really just use his help and I'm not getting so much of that from him. We are going to our required Marriage Prep this weekend and<strong> it seems like half of the things we are going to talk about, we should've talked about BEFORE we got engaged</strong>... Any advice to make me feel better would be great :)
    Posted by bc_babe1186[/QUOTE]

    ding, ding, ding, ding, ding!!!!

    Forget the favors and centerpieces, and work on ^^that^^. 
    image

    I just a friendly gal looking for options.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    TheDuckisTheDuckis member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Hey, at least you're forcing yourselves to talk about these things before you're actually married. It's a lot easier to call off an engagement than it is to get divorced.

    You might find after this weekend that you don't need to stress about centerpieces at all.
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    bc_babe1186bc_babe1186 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    It's just a few little things.. I didn't mean to make it sound like we haven't talked about ANY of the things that go on in a marriage. I know its just a point of actually talking to him about it all, it just felt better getting it all out :)
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    edited December 2011
    Family isn't obligated to help or offer advice. No one cares about the details as much as you, it's not personal.
    MIL is thrilled you're joining the family. Image and video hosting by TinyPic
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    Butter CookieButter Cookie member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Unfortunately your family may not be very helpful to you. You have to accept that your wedding doesn't mean as much to them as it does to you.

    For you and your SO I'd seek a little pre-marital counseling. It's healthy for any couple, to make sure you're on the same page and asking all the questions that need to be asked.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
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    edited December 2011
    I am getting married in less than 2 months. I know how it is. People want to help but they don't really want to do anything except give thier opinions!
    Just suck it up. This happens once in your life and you are not going to enjoy the day if you are totally stressed out beforehand. Don't expect your FH to do anything but show up and have a good time. Even if a huge wedding was his idea, he also doesn't want to do any of the planning.....he just wants the gifts and to have a good time.
    Plan one thing at a time. Make days during this process for yourself otherwise you will be BRIDEZILLA. =-) GOOD LUCK and enjoy your big day!
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    edited December 2011
    I ditto ButterCookie. I would seek help now, whether it be through a religous figure or a trusted counselor. I am dealing with a difficult mother who wants to constantly tell me to do this and that, yet she has not helped one bit or one penny. My FI and I had this argument as well over paying for things, and he helped me come to the conclusion that no one is obligated to pay for it. I have sought the help of our Priest b/c my Mom is so difficult (way more to get into right now) and it has helped a lot. It is not to say that you aren't meant to be together, you just need to sit down and have some heart to heart momemts to work some of this out and get on the same page. I have found it is better if I tell my Mom less so she will bug me less. My FI parents are wonderful, sounds like we have an opposite situation going on. As far as the date goes, you may have to postpone it a while to not only get things straightened out, help the stress level, and esp if you have been laid off and money could be tight. Good Luck!
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