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Planning Advice

Alisa8852Alisa8852
First Comment
in Wedding Woes

I got engaged last May and always dreamed of a destination wedding on a beach. 
FI's sister refuses to travel because she has two young children, money issues, etc.  We would offer to pay for her travel, but then she would just find another excuse. 

FI and his family are pushing for a big traditional wedding at home, something I really do not want to do.  I would want only immediate family and very close friends. 

We are having trouble trying to find a compromise.  Anyone else have this problem? Any advice?

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Re: Planning Advice

  • **O-Face****O-Face** member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 25 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    I think your problem is more along the lines of trying to make EVERYONE happy, and not realizing that this is about you two as a COUPLE.  Do what YOU want.  Don't take polls.
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  • ReturnOfKuusReturnOfKuus member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Do the wedding at home, but make it small and intimate.  There's your compromise.
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  • MinMMinM
    10000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    My family lives on one coast, H's family lives in another region, and we lived in Texas. We had our wedding in Texas and made it equally inconvenient for everyone to attend. Only invite who you want. Problems solved. And if someone is continually making excuses not to go to your wedding, STOP BOTHERING THEM. Her money issues maybe valid and who says she wants to take your money. Also, traveling with two kids sounds like it would drive me to drink. Leave it alone.
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  • Alisa8852Alisa8852
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I don't think of it as bothering someone when it's his sister.  I am actually trying really hard to keep the peace.  I don't think I am out of line for asking her opinion on a destination wedding. 
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  • hmonkeyhmonkey member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    it's not out of line to ask her for her opinion, but really -- do you care?  and is this an issue where nothing you say will make her happy?
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  • MinMMinM
    10000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    She gave you her opinion; she would not go.
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  • InksWellInksWell member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_planning-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:ae0087eb-5604-4405-9d27-5a8090edfeacPost:2084decb-c769-4f8c-a8c3-757f1b26e411">Re: Planning Advice</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't think of it as bothering someone when it's his sister.  I am actually trying really hard to keep the peace.  I don't think I am out of line for asking her opinion on a destination wedding. 
    Posted by Alisa8852[/QUOTE]


    this
    Dear Rain, Not Today. Sincerely, My Parade
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  • Alisa8852Alisa8852
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    So do you think I could do the destination wedding without the sister? Won't that just cause problems with the future in laws?

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  • ReturnOfKuusReturnOfKuus member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    The biggest problem with that is that your FI doesn't seem to want a destination wedding.
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  • MinMMinM
    10000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think you should totally have the wedding that you want, FI be damned!
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