Wedding Woes

IHO that mess down there ::points to 5 kids post::

I don't understand why people voluntarily put themselves in situations that are just a hot *ss mess. She knows she's got a herd of kids and school and whatnot to worry about. Why add planning a wedding on top of it? I put off having babies for a year so I could get this law school thing underway. Picture me scrambling for finals, oral argument, summer internships AND lamaze classes.

Further, if you've put yourself in a hot *ss mess of a situation voluntarily, don't complain about it!
..

Re: IHO that mess down there ::points to 5 kids post::

  • HeffalumpHeffalump member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    Agreed.  It's no coincidence that I got KU 4 months AFTER I got my MBA.  And an MBA isn't even that hard.
  • TheDuckisTheDuckis member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I think part of being a hot mess is that you don't realize you're a hot mess. That's why the single parents board is full of 16 year olds who are proud of themselves.

    I'm sure she deserves to have a nice wedding because she's been through so much and has sacrificed a lot and is a great mother.
  • loveshine1loveshine1 member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    I think to become a hot mess, you have to just be that clueless about planning and how things should go to make life easier.

    For example, why do you have so many children?
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  • edited December 2011

    loveshine, my friend L isn't clueless. She knows how she got her first two babies. Why would she purposely have a third with yet another man? Oh, because she wants one more. That's her only reason. Damn waiting until she's financially stable or has a man who actually gives half a damn.

    "I would be sad if sex was only about the climax, lame." Someone who is obviously doing it wrong
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  • PMeg819PMeg819 member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    Well for all we know, she was married once before and had a great husband who was the father to all of those children adn then died tragically in a Circle K hold up or something. But the second she added on the mom and boyfriend aren't invited and don't approve....it sets alarm bells off that the reality is she's got a bajillion baby daddies out there and school is really Miss Kim's House of Beauty Learnin'.
  • loveshine1loveshine1 member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    So that's not necessarily clueless, Hooka. That's more like horrible decision making.
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  • AuntFloAuntFlo member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    adn then died tragically in a Circle K hold up

    DED
  • zsazsa-stlzsazsa-stl member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 100 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    Agreed.  My mother sent an e-mail to me and my siblings the other day after spending the day with a hot mess about my age that she is trying to help.  She said that she was very thankful for children that were able to a) make good decisions and b) learn from mistakes.  Life is a lot harder without those skills.
    image

    I just a friendly gal looking for options.

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  • TheDuckisTheDuckis member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Hooka, not knowing that "because i want 3" is not a valid reason to have the 3rd NOW is clueless.
  • pineapple1012pineapple1012 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011

    Two things:
    I agree with what some people said that part of being a hot mess is typically a lack of self-awareness.  I think that's the case with a lot of people, and it's hard to feel anything but slightly bad for them, then irritated at their life, then bad again.


    That being said, sometimes situations do balloon more quicklky than you'd think. . . i'm not QUITE in the situation this lady is in, but due to circumstances both foreseen and un, i have a major move one month after my wedding.  so now, not only am i planning a wedding (and bridesmaiding in two others) I'm planning a cross country move and helping my FH job search.  it's stressful and not ideal, but it happened.

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