none

ladyfrittata

BocaSue

Congratulations!  Your thoughts and concerns about the location of the wedding are very valid. If you marry in the West Coast location, what with the bad economy,you may end up with a tiny wedding indeed. So keep  this in mind when making the best decision fo you and FI. Good luck!!

Butter Cookie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_married-live-friends-fam-live?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:afb4cfc9-c0aa-4899-a399-edd0a9854d0ePost:b2b6b4f2-0bea-4f8c-b727-37b37d4bb057">Where to get married - where we live or where our friends and fam live?</a>:
[QUOTE]hi everyone, I'm a longtime lurker but this is my first post!  I'm engaged and just started planning - no date yet but will be sometime in 2012.  I'm having a lot of trouble with just the basics here - where to get married and who to invite.  FI and I have been together for 4 years - met in one Big East Coast city, quickly moved to another Big East Coast city for his grad school, and spent the last couple years in a Big West Coast city, where we relocated for work.  We're not super happy here and are looking to relocate yet again in the next year to our dream city, another Big West Coast city. We love the West Coast - we are sure we are going to stay here and this is where our life now is.  However, both of our families are on the East Coast, in adjacent cities. (We both have small families - 30 guests combined at max.)  We both went to East Coast colleges and most of our high school, college, and post college friends are back there, though many are scattered around the country/world. We do have friends in our new town, but they are more the invite to a party, have a beer now and then friends than people we have a super close bond with.  We know next to no one in the city we want to move to. In my ideal world, we would get married in the city we are moving to - it would be a great way to kick off our new life in the place where we hope to settle.  However, we don't have any friends or family there at all.  Seriously none.  I wouldn't mind having a smaller wedding with just the closest friends, but FI has a LOT of college friends who he wants to invite and he wants to have more of a big party.  (I'm okay with that too - I'd really be fine with either option.)  I also have friends that were once close that I'd like to invite, but also a lot that are on that line of "we were friends 5 years ago, but I haven't seen you in 3 years." Anyone who's been through something similar - should we just get married on the East Coast instead?  it's not what I envision, but it pains me to think that almost every single one of our guests would have to get on a plane to attend.   And also for those of you in your late 20s/early 30s who have inevitably experienced the drift-apart from college friends - how did you feel about inviting people that you were once close with but just don't see or talk to that much anymore? Thanks in advance!
Posted by ladyfrittata[/QUOTE]

Which is more important to you? People attending your wedding, or having a wedding in your ideal location?

Only you can really answer that. And remember - if you have your wedding out West, don't get hurt when people don't come. It's not that they don't want to, it's that they can't. Forget the financial aspect, there's also the fact that people don't necessarily have the time off from work, or they already have vacations planned, etc etc.

quotequeen

I am in a somewhat similar position and chose to get married in the location that was most central for our families.  The few people we're inviting from our current city will have to travel (if they attend) but it's much more important for us to have our close family members there, and to make it convenient for them.  I would not consider having the wedding somewhere that I just happened to like but didn't have any ties to because planning long distance is hard enough - it would be much harder without anybody in that area to help out with things.

As for college friends, I don't necessarily see them on a regular basis, but I am inviting ones that I would still make a point to see if I went to wherever they live, and that I talk to on IM, etc.  The ones where I don't really even know what's going on in their lives, wouldn't know if they have an SO to invite or not, etc., I'm not inviting.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_married-live-friends-fam-live?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:afb4cfc9-c0aa-4899-a399-edd0a9854d0ePost:90c2d730-2944-40cc-acb7-d7b817f0977e">Re: Where to get married - where we live or where our friends and fam live?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Where to get married - where we live or where our friends and fam live? : Which is more important to you? People attending your wedding, or having a wedding in your ideal location? Only you can really answer that. And remember - if you have your wedding out West, don't get hurt when people don't come. It's not that they don't want to, it's that they can't. Forget the financial aspect, there's also the fact that people don't necessarily have the time off from work, or they already have vacations planned, etc etc.
Posted by Butter Cookie[/QUOTE]

This exactly! If you have it where you currently live, it could be very expensive for people to travel. And they might not be able to depending on time off of work, and their finances, etc. Just something to think about before you decide for sure.