Wedding Woes
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EMERGENCY

I have no idea what to do.  Its going to be about 12 months until my wedding now and my fiance and I have not decided who and where we will marry.  I am a christian and a total bible follower and he is a raised adventist.  We both believe the same things except that no one will marry us because we are considered "Interfaith" .  The only issue is that I won't baptist myself to become part of his "religion" because I am adament about following doctrines and being part of something that I dont necessary agree with its foundation.  We can't agree at all.   His family solid on the ceremony being adventist and my family is solid about it being christian. 

Am I worried for  nothing?

I am losing my mind and sleep over this big time. 

Help....
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Re: EMERGENCY

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    MrsMyrtleMrsMyrtle member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_emergency?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:b1d9ea3a-4ce4-43bf-8415-a849c7558859Post:3d4d0478-1cc8-436f-a8f5-50286163a18c">EMERGENCY</a>:
    [QUOTE]I have no idea what to do.  Its going to be about 12 months until my wedding now and my fiance and <strong>I have not decided who </strong>and where <strong>we will marry</strong>.  I am a christian and a total bible follower and he is a raised adventist.  We both believe the same things except that no one will marry us because we are considered "Interfaith" .  The only issue is that I won't baptist myself to become part of his "religion" because I am adament about following doctrines and being part of something that I dont necessary agree with its foundation.  We can't agree at all.   His family solid on the ceremony being adventist and my family is solid about it being christian.  Am I worried for  nothing? I am losing my mind and sleep over this big time.  Help....
    Posted by sdomi639[/QUOTE]

    <div>Well I'd figure out who I was marrying first and foremost.</div>
    image
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    6fsn6fsn member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I can't really comment on what you should do, but I do feel the need to comment.  The wedding is just one day.  How will you deal with these issues in your marriage?  How will you handle holidays and child rearing?  You and the FI need to figure out more than the wedding, you need to figure out the marriage.
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    edited December 2011
    I agree with the previous posts. Sounds like your marriage will just fall apart if you do get married.

    I was raised Roman Catholic and my fiance is a conservative Presbyterian, so we don't get much more opposite than that. We had no problem finding a church that would let us use their facility, but you also have to know which churches have limitations and which don't.  We don't like the look of his church, so we're going to his brother's church (which is Lutheran).

    But the most important thing is for the two of you to figure out where you both stand in your faith and beliefs. If you have kids, the differece will take a toll on your relationship. Differences in faith can be simple when it's just the couple, but mixing in kids is a whole new ball game. If you're having these difficulties now BEFORE you're married, I don't want to see what might happen after you're married.
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_emergency?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:b1d9ea3a-4ce4-43bf-8415-a849c7558859Post:a50b226e-dc73-4e6f-a815-6c60fd97cbda">Re: EMERGENCY</a>:
    [QUOTE]I can't really comment on what you should do, but I do feel the need to comment.  The wedding is just one day.  How will you deal with these issues in your marriage?  How will you handle holidays and child rearing?  You and the FI need to figure out more than the wedding, you need to figure out the marriage.
    Posted by 6fsn[/QUOTE]

    This...absolutely this.
    My baby girl is a married woman...and now my baby girl HAS a baby girl. Time unfolds in such an amazing way. I've been blessed!
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    edited December 2011
    Call me crazy, but aren't Adventists Christians?  In fact, aren't they like, extra Christian because they observe the O.G Sabbath?  What do I know?  I just used to sing at their church for money.  

    But seriously, why are you marrying someone who has fundamentally differing beliefs from yours?  It would be one thing if you were like, "my family is Baptist, and his family is Adventist, and we're Atheists but want to make them happy for the wedding. Where can I find a pretty church (joke)?" But, if you truly think his religion is kooky, then you can't possibly think he's rational for believing in it, and if you don't think he's rational, then how can you respect him as a partner? 
    Learning to live and work from home: My blog
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    Butter CookieButter Cookie member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Hell, even *I* believe in the being-equally-yoked thing. You have to have to at least be on the same spiritual/religious/non-believing platform level. You don't have to necessarily be in the same faith but you have to have the same basic amount of passion for your beliefs, typically.
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