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Sort of RL Romeo & Juliet - Kind of a LONG rant

I'm engaged to the love of my life (and childhood sweetheart) and we've set a date for 9 June 2012. The only problem is my family.
When we first got engaged, I guess my family thought it was a not-so-serious thing. Later on, my fiance (Oz) moved in with my family (issues with housing at the time). When I came back to school after Thanksgiving Break, my dad called my Oz's grandparents (who were on vacation) and told them that he was moving back in with them. They then called Oz asking him about it (which he had no idea about!) but he packed all his stuff together and left without telling my mom or sisters (who got mad 'bout it til they learned the truth a lil while ago). Since then, he only comes over when I go home (because as soon as I leave, my dad makes him leave). His grandfather doesn't understand it at all and really wants to go at my dad about it. Oz quit coming over (which is making my mom and sisters upset). Obviously, we're not getting any help from my family - and I can't even invite them unless they can accept it because I don't want the drama. Plus, we feel like my dad is just gonna get worse with time (as do my sisters and my FILs)
What do you think we should do? Keep with it, move it back, elope, other?

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Re: Sort of RL Romeo & Juliet - Kind of a LONG rant

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    MrsMyrtleMrsMyrtle member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_sort-of-rl-romeo-juliet-kind-of-long-rant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:b61bc239-90ca-43f3-97ee-1a77d5c57a02Post:911c25da-488c-4ff1-98d4-b98811b40476">Sort of RL Romeo & Juliet - Kind of a LONG rant</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm engaged to the love of my life (and childhood sweetheart) and we've set a date for 9 June 2012. The only problem is my family. When we first got engaged, I guess my family thought it was a not-so-serious thing. Later on, my fiance (Oz) moved in with my family (issues with housing at the time). When I came back to school after Thanksgiving Break, my dad called my Oz's grandparents (who were on vacation) and told them that he was moving back in with them. They then called Oz asking him about it (which he had no idea about!) but he packed all his stuff together and left without telling my mom or sisters (who got mad 'bout it til they learned the truth a lil while ago). Since then, he only comes over when I go home (because as soon as I leave, my dad makes him leave). His grandfather doesn't understand it at all and really wants to go at my dad about it. Oz quit coming over (which is making my mom and sisters upset). Obviously, we're not getting any help from my family - and I can't even invite them unless they can accept it because I don't want the drama. Plus, we feel like my dad is just gonna get worse with time (as do my sisters and my FILs) What do you think we should do? Keep with it, move it back, elope, other?
    Posted by HopefulLife[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>Considering it sounds like you're 18, I'd suggest waiting.

    </div>
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    edited December 2011
    I'm twenty and will be graduating with a bachelor and an associate before our wedding date.

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    mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
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    edited December 2011
    You know how Romeo and Juliet ends, right?

    Or actually, do you know anything about the story??
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    edited December 2011

    Yes, I do thank you. R&J is just how I refer to it - it wasn't supposed to be taken literally.


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    6fsn6fsn member
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    edited December 2011
    Maybe it's time for Oz to get a place of his own.  Why did your dad kick him out?
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    edited December 2011
    We have no idea. He's been living there with us and my mom treated him like her own son (like there was no difference in money spent on him and my sisters and I). One day, they were working together on everything and going out to hang out. Then that Monday, he made the call.

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    6fsn6fsn member
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    edited December 2011
    My guess is that your dad was sick of Oz free-loading.  Time for this fi to man up, get a place of his own, and take care of himself. 

    Have you talked to your dad about things? 
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    edited December 2011
    Yeah. Tried. Oz tried to pay them rent and food money but my parents wouldn't accept anything. They tried to give him an allowance and pay him for working around the house! After that happened, I tried to talk to my dad but he won't discuss anything with me that has to deal with Oz and me (unless it's me telling him we broke up).

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    edited December 2011
    Oz needs to move out. If you have to live with your parents to get married there is a problem. You dad is a dad so he is looking for someone who can take care of you, not someone to babysit.

    Once you guys are both out of the house everything will be fine, and if it isnt elope.
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    edited December 2011
    You need to get the hell out of Dutchy Dutchy land and realize that not everyone gets engaged at 17, married at 18, and pops out the first baby by 19. 

    You'll be amazed at what the rest of the world has to offer if you get out of WMI
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    TheDuckisTheDuckis member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Are you and Oz sleeping together? Maybe daddy didn't want that going on under his roof.

    At any rate, put off the engagement until you're both out of school, have steady jobs, and can support yourselves. It's all well and good that you'll have a diploma for a whole 4 weeks before your wedding, but that's not going to put food on the table. You have some growing up to do, and a year and a half isn't enough time to do it in.
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    LnR70707LnR70707 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011

    Ewww...I don't think I could respect, much less marry, a man that took/accepted money from my parents on a regular basis as though he were one of my siblings.  Hell, I'd lose respect for my own sister if she free-loaded like that.

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    zsazsa-stlzsazsa-stl member
    First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    edited December 2011

    Why is your BF want to hang out at your house when you aren't there anyway, espeically if he is not wanted?  It sounds like he (if not you) have  a lot of growing up to do before you make any major commitments (marriage, I am looking at you).


    You should each get out of your own houses and live on your own or with roommates (not each other) for a few years.  Get a little life experience away from your families and each other, and then if you still want to get married, go for it.

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    I just a friendly gal looking for options.

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    Butter CookieButter Cookie member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I might need to go back and read Romeo and Juliet, because I don't remember Romeo moving in and mooching off the Capulets and then getting kicked out by Papa Capulet only to move in with Grandpa Montague.


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    ReturnOfKuusReturnOfKuus member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    If Oz can afford to pay your parents room and board, then why didn't he just get an apartment?
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    hmonkeyhmonkey member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    his christian name is oz?
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    mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_sort-of-rl-romeo-juliet-kind-of-long-rant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:b61bc239-90ca-43f3-97ee-1a77d5c57a02Post:73084f85-c247-4580-9404-a6f2ea46778b">Re: Sort of RL Romeo & Juliet - Kind of a LONG rant</a>:
    [QUOTE]his christian name is oz?
    Posted by hmonkey[/QUOTE]

    LOL!  I side-eyed 'Oz' as well.
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    L_WoodsL_Woods member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I bet if you click your heels together three times and say "there's no place like home" everything will go back to normal in Oz.
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_sort-of-rl-romeo-juliet-kind-of-long-rant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:b61bc239-90ca-43f3-97ee-1a77d5c57a02Post:6f04064f-2e7c-45de-b591-cda0732323d0">Re: Sort of RL Romeo & Juliet - Kind of a LONG rant</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Sort of RL Romeo & Juliet - Kind of a LONG rant : LOL!  I side-eyed 'Oz' as well.
    Posted by mrs.conn23[/QUOTE]

    <div>I'm picturing Seth Green (Oz on Buffy tVS), but his character was cool.</div><div>
    </div><div>OP, I know you think that your relationship is different, that you won't be one of those young couples that gets divorced within 5 years, but it happens. I'm watching it happen to a dear friend of mine right now and he's turning into a person I never thought he would be. I think you and your fiancé need to experience living on your own for a while. Paying bills, working, the whole nine yards. Practice some of that before you get married, because if you go straight from both of you depending on your parents to being together, you're in for a rude awakening.</div>
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