July 2012 Weddings

Private time on the wedding day

I really want to be able to focus on my husband the day of the wedding, but worry that in all the busy-ness and schedules, friends and family from out of town wanting to spend time with us, and then the excitement of the party, exhaustion after a long day, etc., we'll end up not having any alone time (or being too tired at the end of the night to enjoy it). Don't get me wrong, I'm so excited for all of it, but I don't want us to "miss" enjoying each other and what the day means to us. So I've decided that we're going to schedule time between the ceremony and the reception (either before pictures or after). I think that I'll have my sisters put the gifts we've chosen for each other into our hotel room before the ceremony, and we'll have some refreshments set up for our wedding party to go and relax and cool down in another room (it'll be very hot during the ceremony). While they're cooling down we'll go and enjoy some alone time before re-joining the rest of our guests at the reception. I'm really looking forward to it and I think it'll give us a chance to take a break and a breather and then fully enjoy the rest of the evening. What do you guys think?? I realize that people may make dirty jokes about us sneaking away to our hotel room but I don't really care about that :) I'll be a married woman after all!

Re: Private time on the wedding day

  • If that's what you want to do then by all means, do it!

    But just to warn you, as a guest I would think it was very strange and a bit rude to not only keep them waiting while your taking pictures but then again while you have, 'private time'? That'll be at least 2 hours, what will your guests be doing during this?

    I think maybe you should instead focus on quality alone time before and after the wedding. My first idea is that you should have a private first look before the ceremony where you exchange gifts and then take pictures. Or if you really don't want to see each other before maybe you could take 10 minutes during the reception to sneak away and spend some quality alone time together? 

    You also may want to think about spending the night before the wedding together and being able to wake up and share an intimate breakfast. I think that would be nice...and at the very least have a send-off time scheduled for the reception and go straight to your room with a 'do not disturb' sign in tow. Friends and family will get the hint.

    If you're stuck on this idea then I probably can't change your mind but I just want to honestly tell you that guests WILL side-eye this. You WILL hear dirty jokes. And guests WILL feel offended. Imagine someone invites you to a party at their house then about 10 minutes in the hosts go to their bedroom. It's just strange.
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  • I've heard of many couples doing this.  I personally would do it during the reception or just after where people are being entertained anyway and aren't just waiting on you.  I plan on doing this then.
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  • I'm glad you thought about thow to keep the wedding party happy, but I agree that you need to give some more thought to the guests.  I have been to two different weddings where the pictures took so long that cocktail hour was over and guests were seated, waiting for the reception to begin.  All everyone was saying was "Where are they?"  and wondering when it would get started. 

    If you take time for photos and then for "alone time" your guests will probably feel the way I felt at these weddings.
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  • I could be totally wrong but I read this as they would just be missing part of their cocktail hour so the guests would be eating and drinking?  Is this right?

    We are getting married at the same place our reception is.  We plan on going right to the bridal suite after the ceremony we will have a private bar tender and they also set up 3 hot buffet stations for us.  In this time we will actually eat some food!!  Have a glass of champagne and then head down to cocktail hour when there is about 30 minutes left.  
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  • I personally wouldn't do this. We're not seeing each other before the ceremony, so we have to take some of the pictures (we're going to do as many as possible beforehand without having to see each other) afterward during the cocktail hour, and I'm still worried about keeping my guests waiting. I went to a wedding last summer where the WP was gone for, oh it had to have been pushing two hours, and it was gawd-awful. Granted, there wasn't any food either, but still. Everyone was getting impatient. It just felt like the WP didn't really care about the guests or getting back in a decent time to get the reception started. It was uncomfortable to say the least.

    Now, if you are dead set on doing this, I'd definitely take as many pictures as possible before the ceremony, to cut down on the photo time after. And please please keep your alone time short. I think that making your guests wait more than an hour or so for the reception to start really is rude. Try to keep the time period as short as possible.
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  • Nati05Nati05 member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary
    I think it's do-able, but it must be done and planned very carefully otherwise it could be a disaster. I read a little too fast so sorry if you alreay mentioned it, but are you planning to have pictures taken as well before the reception? If so, it's very true that this could EASILY run over time and you'll have a room full of grumpy guests. Do a first look if possible so that you can have some time for pictures and a good few minutes to breathe with FI before everything starts.

    Firstly I wouldn't worry about this too much, I think even as you do different activities throughout the day like pics, first dance, greeting guests, dinner.. you'll be sharing moments the whole day and spending time with each other. And even if you're exhausted at the end of the night, you'll be sharing that together as you reminisce over the day. But if you're still concerned, there are different things you can consider to guarantee a little personal time.

    Really think about the first look, even if you've been set on tradition... it just might work for you two. I've heard girls rave about how perfect it was to have such a special moment alone during such a crazy day. Also how about a sweetheart table at the reception? You'll be able to share dinner together at your own table for at LEAST 30 minutes. PP also had a good idea about an early send off. And if escaping for a bit is still the idea, I would consider after dinner or during some of the dancing, while people are entertained and not waiting on you anymore.

    Good luck!
  • bstentbstent member
    10 Comments
    Yes we're going to do as many photos as possible before the ceremony so we only have to do a few afterwards, and Lady324 yes you're right we were planning to do this during cocktail hour not while our guests are waiting for us to arrive at the reception. I've thought about the "first look" photos and I'm torn about this but will reconsider. Thanks for the feedback everyone! I definitely don't want to keep guests waiting, I was intending it to be done quietly during the time between the ceremony and reception while guests are having cocktails, but I agree that it'll have to be scheduled well if we want it to go smoothly. I'll re-think and make sure that we get what we want while still keeping all of our family and friends happy
  • We're going to have a little private time while everyone is at cocktail hour.  We'll be having pics taken and time together.  I want us to see the reception room before anyone else.  I saw a pic of the bride and groom alone in the room together just enjoying the peace.  I wish I could find the pic!!
  • I definitely think the First Look could absolutely be a great opportunity for one of many moments together before it all unfolds.  (all while getting some amazing pictures!) 
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  • I went to a wedding in a historic town in NH where the latest Catholic service was hours before the reception site opened.  The bride was clear in this and included an optional trolley/bus tour during this site.  She also included a few suggestions for guests to check out on their own during the in between time.  I was familiar with the area, so thought it a bit awkward to just find a bar and sit with a few other guests while we were hungry and waiting for the reception to start.
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