You know what DG's post has me thinking.

NOLABridesmaid

I don't really ask people for stuff. Thankfully, I guess I've been blessed to not have to, but there have been times I could have and didn't.

I think it's been drilled in me as a kid to not ask people for money, and to take care of your own problems.

GBCK

I'm in this world too...
Buffy's going to have to deal w/ the fact that I support what my kids do and she isn't allowed to shcill crap for fundraising :-P

TheDuckis

I was taught since I was a wee little duckling that you never ask for things. To this day, if I'm at someone's house I don't ask for so much as a glass of water without being offered first.

HookaPants

I don't ask for anything. CP looks at me upside my head when he goes to get something for me and I try to give him the money back.

pegasuskat

This is me too Nola.  I am always cooking for a family or doing whatever needs to be done, but when it comes to us I can't imagine asking.

*Candi*

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_dgs-post-thinking?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:b82fdf02-a3f0-4825-8ad2-9ab4401995f4Post:7fc42330-a254-48eb-9406-68d1400542d3">Re: You know what DG's post has me thinking.</a>:
[QUOTE]I was taught since I was a wee little duckling that you never ask for things. To this day, if I'm at someone's house I don't ask for so much as a glass of water without being offered first.
Posted by TheDuckis[/QUOTE]

This exactly.And even after being offered if I don't know the person well and I'm not dying of thisrst I'd still probably decline so as not to inconvenience them.

H was raised the same way so that's why I don't understand how SIL is the exact opposite and at 36 years old can barely make it without always asking for something from her parents.

hmonkey

i think it depends on the circumstance.

i recall being at church and hearing that X was going through catastrophic medical, there was some general murmur about donations of time or money, and then X was handed a wad of cash and came home to a clean house with a stocked fridge.  but that's people i know and am close to.

my brother is allergic to dogs, but he doped up on benadryl and walked my sister's bf's dog for two weeks while she was on her honeymoon.

for people i don't feel super super close to, i don't feel comfortable asking or being asked.

NOLABridesmaid

Ok. I'm not going to die of thirst just because you are rude. I will ask after I've given you plenty of time to do so on your own.

If it's family or close friends, I will help myself to  some water.

TheDuckis

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_dgs-post-thinking?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:b82fdf02-a3f0-4825-8ad2-9ab4401995f4Post:6e2b7e79-5f77-4e6c-8d16-7fd2ae6aa839">Re: You know what DG's post has me thinking.</a>:
[QUOTE]oh i am the opposite. if you come to my house, not only would i hope you'd ask if you needed anything, but i'd tell you to help yourself.  i would like to think my house is your house. i'm very casual like that. the kids, though, i expect them to ask and not go after things they need or want on their own.
Posted by Wifezzilla[/QUOTE]

I am the same way with guests in my house. I offer whatever I have, and then I tell them to help themselves if/when they want more. I just don't expect that from everyone else.

NOLABridesmaid

I don't count asking my sister, mom or aunts. Lord, knows my uncle was my handyman before I found 65 year old Randy. I do love me some Randy.

6fsn

I went to Catholic school.  I'm used to asking for donations

zsazsa-stl

I HATE asking for things...to a fault.  I'm supposed to sell pecans for my service sorority.  I just order a case for myself each year and then gift bags of pecans to friends and family throughout the year.  I'm still traumatized by asking for donations for doorprizes, etc. for events I helped plan in college.  And part of the reason that I dropped the adoption thing is because we would have had to ask people for letter of recommendation.  I can't do that.  It was super hard for me to ask three people to be my references when we adopted the 2nd dog.  I could never ask them to go through all of the questioning it would take for me to get someone's baby.

hmonkey

zsa, what the what.  i would buy your pecans.  i would also write you a letter of recommendation but no one trusts a felon.

i had to write a letter of recommendation for a freelancer once, and i loved it.  he was awesome, i loved working with him and wanted him to have a nice place to live (it was for a co-op board).  i got carried away and the letter was way, way too long and weird.  my coworker made me cut it down and edited it so it was less creepy.

DG1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_dgs-post-thinking?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:b82fdf02-a3f0-4825-8ad2-9ab4401995f4Post:25b1d48b-dd0c-446c-a3a5-449093304af0">Re: You know what DG's post has me thinking.</a>:
[QUOTE]I HATE asking for things...to a fault.  I'm supposed to sell pecans for my service sorority.  I just order a case for myself each year and then gift bags of pecans to friends and family throughout the year.  I'm still traumatized by asking for donations for doorprizes, etc. for events I helped plan in college.  And part of the reason that I dropped the adoption thing is because we would have had to ask people for letter of recommendation.  I can't do that.  It was super hard for me to ask three people to be my references when we adopted the 2nd dog.  I could never ask them to go through all of the questioning it would take for me to get someone's baby.
Posted by zsazsa-stl[/QUOTE]


OK, this is beyond pathological.  If it interferes with your life to this degree, you need to get some counseling. 

If it makes you feel better, I am considering the same because of my reluctance to talk on the phone. Not sure if it's a true phobia, but I've lost plenty of $$ just because I'm not willing to call and have an issue fixed.  For example, we need to downgrade our cell phone plan because we don't come close to using all of our  minutes. But am I willing to call and deal with it? Nope.  So I end up paying extra every month AND stressing about it.  Not healthy.

I know you have plenty of people who'd be happy to answer 1000 questions to help your adoption efforts.

NOLABridesmaid

I don't mind calling to put more $$$ in my pocket. I'm also the person that customer service people seem to like to talk to. Like, they talk my ear off. "Lady, can we speed this up, please."

Heck, I get this in person too. I really need to stop smiling at people.

hmonkey

nola and wz, maybe y'all need to start carrying a hammer or something.  you know, just in your hand.

NOLABridesmaid

Ha. It's been like this since I was a kid. I usually don't mind talking to strangers, but they don't get the hint when I'm trying to wrap up the convo.

I'll have to remember about the hammer.

zsazsa-stl

DG - It was part of the reason I dropped the adoption thing, not the whole reason.  There was also this little thing about us being restricted for age and medical reasons, so it was just one of the many reasons that we couldn't go through with it.

hmonkey

but what about the pecans?  do they come in flavors?  are there some that are chocolate coated?  i am very interested.  very.

HookaPants

The pecan place here takes food stamps. It's noted on their sign.

DG1

I only want bourbon pecans. We made those one year for Xmas gifts and they were AWESOME.

zsazsa-stl

Just plain, raw pecans - mixed pieces and halves.  

DG1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_dgs-post-thinking?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:b82fdf02-a3f0-4825-8ad2-9ab4401995f4Post:2d6f1c80-5bfa-4bd9-bd16-0c40544c23c2">Re: You know what DG's post has me thinking.</a>:
[QUOTE]Just plain, raw pecans - mixed pieces and halves.  
Posted by zsazsa-stl[/QUOTE]

what a weird thing to sell as a fundraiser. I mean, I can go to sam's and get a giant bag of 'em. 

Then again, I guess I could get my own krispy kreme donuts or candy bars, too.

Butter Cookie

Zsa let me help you make a sign:

Zsa's Nuts

$45/lb

Trust me, they're delicious