is this a dealbreaker?

hmonkey

if she wants to byo, fine.  the gtgs aren't really about the food, are they?

Dear Amy: We are very family-oriented, and on each major holiday we invite our son and his family to our home along with his in-laws so that we can all be together, enjoy the children and share holiday festivities.

Along with being an excellent chef, my wife is known for her healthy-focused menus, and she takes a great deal of pride in preparing a meal for special occasions.  When we are ready to dine, the food is laid out so that each person can choose the serving he or she desires, along with portion size.

My son's mother-in-law graciously accepted our recent invitation, but noted that she has begun a controlled diet and would bring her microwavable dinner.  She said she would not be eating any deserts containing chocolate and that she and her husband would need to depart by 5 p.m.

We find her food restrictions and time constraints somewhat insulting.  What's an acceptable response?

— At a loss

loveshine1

It's kind of obnoxious, and I don't really get it, but whatever makes her happy I guess?

NOLABridesmaid

Why is he complaining about them leaving early?

Bye.

More food for me.

baconsmom

Whenever anyone calls themselves "an excellent chef", I immediately assume they can't cook at all. 

She's probably on Jenny Craig or Nutrisystem of one of those that requires a person to eat their food. None of these restrictions seem like something to get worked up over to me, but my family gatherings usually only have a start time, no end time, and we'd all rather have people show up for a little bit than decline altogether. 

**O-Face**

I think it makes the host/hostess a little annoying.  If I am willing to provide for myself, then what is the problem?

InksWell

Personally, I think planning to bring your own food if you have severe diet restrictions is better than calling the host and giving her a list.

If this guy says his wife is "known for" her health food, I'm betting they eat wierd stuff MIL doesn't want to deal with. People don't get "a reputation" for great salads. They get reputations by serving yeast balls.

ReturnOfKuus

I think both the host and the guests sound like jerks.  But you know how much I hate dieters.

LnR70707

I think it is pretty damn rude....assuming she isn't housebound obese on death's door if she doesn't follow a strict diet, it is one night and she should just deal.

I side-eye SIL every time she shows up with her turkey meatballs/burger whatever because she doesn't eat "red" meat.   I don't eat nasty fatty BBQ pulled pork, but I pick around and find something...why can't she?

loveshine1

Going along with what L&R said, I feel the same way.

I don't eat chicken, pork, turkey, beef, etc., and there is always something I can eat at every event. I've made due with just rolls before. This woman can deal for a night.

**O-Face**

She could also just eat at home and come after the meal. 

MrsMyrtle

Food aside, if it's a holiday, perhaps they have other people they want to spend it with? I'd be pretty urkled if my child's ILs decided to host every holiday with our children. 

tawillers

I personally wouldn't annouce my diet and bring my own food, but I wouldn't be offended if someone did this.  I agree with NOLA, more food for me.

And I agree with Myrtle re: them wanting to hog every holiday.

dharmabunny

I'm thinking like BM.  Could be a Jenny Craig or Nutrisystem type of box diet.

As far as the time constraint, maybe they're just tired of having every single holiday hoarded by their folks.