Wedding Woes
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Guest List and bridesmaid horror

Guest List
I just had to be the most brutal person I know last night with our guest list.  I cut my some of my 2nd cousins off the list, and some of my friends off the list, and then I made my fiance' sit down and write out his friend list (which was 67 at first) and cut it back a ton (he maganged to make it 35 (this number is including a guest).  I cut out over half my friends too.  It was the most emotionally draining thing I ever had to do, and I feel so awful!  We haven't even gotten my FMIL's list yet, suppose to get that Friday...but I have a feeling a lot of people who thought they were going to come are going to be upset that they didn't get an invite (but keeping a list to just 200 is VERY hard, especially when my fiance' comes from a family that is HUGE!

Bridesmaid Horror
I finally picked my maid of honor and she is super excited (she is a friend from college).  I asked my friend for 15 years to be a bridesmaid.  I don't know how to break it to her that my friend from college (who I am much closer to now then I am my friend for 15 years and I are now) is the maid of honor without hurting her.  THe last thing I want is to hurt someone, but I don't know what else to do or how to handle this situation. 

I just feel very icky about all of the above...any words of advice or how you dealt with these things...?

Re: Guest List and bridesmaid horror

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    ReturnOfKuusReturnOfKuus member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    You can keep guest lists way down by not giving guests their own guest lists.
    image
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    6fsn6fsn member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    The guest list sucks.  I found it to be one of the hardest things about planning.
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    HeffalumpHeffalump member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_guest-list-bridesmaid-horror?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:ba742586-b618-4b75-b1d1-499ad9bded1bPost:b56eb56c-b33c-42e1-a5fe-2f7a08ff7ee8">Guest List and bridesmaid horror</a>:
    [QUOTE]Guest List I just had to be the most brutal person I know last night with our guest list.  I cut my some of my 2nd cousins off the list, and some of my friends off the list, and then I made my fiance' sit down and write out his friend list (which was 67 at first) and cut it back a ton (he maganged to make it 35 (this number is including a guest).  I cut out over half my friends too.  It was the most emotionally draining thing I ever had to do, and I feel so awful!  We haven't even gotten my FMIL's list yet, suppose to get that Friday...but I have a feeling a lot of people who thought they were going to come are going to be upset that they didn't get an invite (but keeping a list to just 200 is VERY hard, especially when my fiance' comes from a family that is HUGE! Bridesmaid Horror I finally picked my maid of honor and she is super excited (she is a friend from college).  I asked my friend for 15 years to be a bridesmaid.  I don't know how to break it to her that my friend from college (who I am much closer to now then I am my friend for 15 years and I are now) is the maid of honor without hurting her.  THe last thing I want is to hurt someone, but I don't know what else to do or how to handle this situation.  I just feel very icky about all of the above...any words of advice or how you dealt with these things...?
    Posted by FutureMrsN11[/QUOTE]
    Why do you think your friend of 15 years will be heartbroken?  Has she said things like "I assume I'll be your MOH, and if not, I'll cry myself to sleep every night?"  Or are you the one assuming?  Not everyone has their heart set on being a MOH.  Unless she's said otherwise, there is every reason to believe she'll be fine and this is a lot of self-generated faux-angst.
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    hmonkeyhmonkey member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    [QUOTE]Not everyone has their heart set on being a MOH. 
    Posted by Heffalump[/QUOTE]

    when i asked my sister, she said, "yes!"  and then she groaned, "man, this is going to be expensive ... " 
    image
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    DG1DG1 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011

    I got around the "MOH" drama by not having one.  Or Bridesmaids. Or Junior Bridesmaids. Or a Flower Girl. 

    I had 3 attendants, and I didn't give them titles.  They bought dresses & showed up. I bought bouquets & gifts for them.  We took pictures together.  It was blissfully drama-free.

    image
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_guest-list-bridesmaid-horror?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:ba742586-b618-4b75-b1d1-499ad9bded1bPost:5f1e8d3e-7be4-430d-a006-c759b6c9dab0">Re: Guest List and bridesmaid horror</a>:
    [QUOTE]You can keep guest lists way down by not giving guests their own guest lists.
    Posted by ReturnOfKuus[/QUOTE]

    Ditto for sure.  FILs bitched about how our wedding was going to be so big because I have a large family and we're inviting all my cousins & their kids (which is customary in our family)...  But then added a dozen or so of their friends - none of whom FI & I know - to the list of "family" I asked for.
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