Wedding Woes

A few WTFs from life:

1.  Friend had dinner with a guy friend until 11 pm.  Her bf/fiance was upset but wouldn't say so...and then said "you went on a date with another guy".  Is this appropriate...the dinner with dude until 11pm?

2.  Man is coming into some money, in the tune of over $200K.  He won't tell his wife, because she's crazy AND horrible with money.  How wrong is this?

3.  Friend is on my last nerve.  Says she wants to run to "erase yesterday".  DISORDERED.  I'm such a b*tch, but she pulls this crap all the time.  I call her on it all the time too.  Yes, I complain about this monthly.

Re: A few WTFs from life:

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    1. Whose the dude? If it's just a friend she's known for a while, he needs to lay off.

    2. I don't think it's wrong. I know that makes me horrible, but if it means he'll be able to save and spend it appropriately, then so be it. I guess I'm a person who is okay with some secrets in a marriage.

    3. Then why is she still a friend? Move on from toxicity and accept some won't change.
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    1. I need more info.  Who is the guy? Is he and old friend or someone she met at work/in a bar/on the street?

    2. I can't blame him.  But also, what's he doing about his spouses spending issues?  Hiding money doesn't fix that.

    3. I agree with Pmeg.
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    1.  It depends, is my answer.  Most of my friends are male, gay and straight.  I used to (not so more just b/c of money) go out with them all the time, both w/andw/out DH until late.  There was no hanky panky motives (on my part at least and dudes would've been slapped down if they'd thought there was).

    2. Hm.  I can see telling her after it's wrapped up in CDs and the like, but just not telling at all?  I guess it depends on if her name is on it and stuff.  But people are weird about money and I think to each their own when it comes to that.

    3.  At some point, you're going to get tired of calling her on her schit.  Really, either tolerate and laugh about it or quit her.
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    1. Depends, but I (possibly flameful) someone married may be more comfortable with this than someone just engaged.  I went to dinner with a male friend last year then we hung out in his hotel lobby.  It was nothing.

    2. I have mixed feelings.  sMIL has dimentia so FIL keeps things like this from her.  If it's just sort of general whackadoo I wonder why they are married.

    3. I got nothing.
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    3.  Friend accepted and knows she was wrong.  She knows I worry about people obsessing about stupid sh*t.  AND I know she will never change.  So, I should just stop complaining.  Done.....maybe.  Ha.

    2.  Man works, woman is a SAHM.  And acts as if her life is SOOOOO difficult.

    1.  Man is a friend only, apparently I didn't get the whole story.  So this WTF is moot.
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    1. Does he get jealous of every man she talks to? Or is this a rare occurrence? Because if it's the latter, his gut might be telling him something she is in denial about or just unaware of. If it's the former, she needs to bail.

    3. Just be glad you don't have body image issues. Ignore it if it bugs you, and if it comes up so often that it's worth ending the friendship over, do it.

    2. I can think of many situations where this would be totally appropriate. My own marriage is not one of them, but only because of the amount. If H or I came into an extra $100, I wouldn't necessarily see any need to tell. Also, IDK about this specific situation, but being a SAHM can be damn hard. Not as hard as being a Syrian refugee or anything, but it's just like any other job - sometimes it's just a bad fit. If I were a SAHM, I'd be spending lots of time every day convincing myself not to jump off of a bridge.

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    i honestly do not know how 6 does it every single day, i assume with a smille on her face. i think SAHM is much harder than working in an office all day long. both are difficult when it comes to balancing tasks, but there are no labor laws giving you a mandated break when you are a SAHM.

    the rest are a bit hard to follow because of lack of detail.
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    If I were a SAHM you would hear constant complaining from me.  
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    1. Eh. This depends on the relationship, really. I'm routinely out with Hot Choir Guy till midnight or later when GayH throws parties (HCG drives me around, it's lovely), and my husband doesn't care, because he doesn't have any reason to get upset about it. I have friends, they're men, it doesn't mean I'm going to run away with them. I don't think she should dismiss his complaints, but I think they should sit down and have a talk about why he's insecure when she goes out with friends, and what needs to happen on both their parts to assuage those fears. 

    2. I'm terrible with money. Terrible. I know this. I wouldn't expect my husband to let me have any of that money, but I would absolutely expect to know about it. Although, he'd just pay off the house and buy a new truck, which is actually what I would do with so much, too, so. 

    3. I actually don't think that sounds disordered. Sometimes you just need to get a bad day out of your system, and even I, who hates exercise, would look to a walk or a swim or something as a restart button. 
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    SAH is nothing compared to what I was doing.  That would have lead to a complete breakdown and probably a marital one too.  I'd safely say Nola is it worse than me.

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