Wedding Woes
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low cost/free respnsibilities to give unemployed MIL

My FH's single mom has been unemployed for over a year, she's really hard up on cash because she also has to care for his 10 year old little brother. I want so badly to include her in the planning and give her a job, to make her feel included, but I'm not sure what I can do that won't be a financial burden to her. Any advice or ideas on responsibilities I can assign her that won't make her feel like I pitty her, or like she has to spend a ton of money to get the job done?

Re: low cost/free respnsibilities to give unemployed MIL

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    If you have any DIY projects, invite her over to help out - but also realize that she might not want to help out. If this is the case, do NOT ask twice and do not get upset. She doesn't have to do anything. 

    She also doesn't have to contribute financially. Whatever you do, do NOT ask her for any financial contribution whatsoever, even if it's a very small amount - you cannot ask for money. If she offers some money, great, just don't ask.

    You can also invite her along dress shopping and appointments with vendors. Of course, it's really up to you how much you want her involved. You don't have to invite her to everything, but if you want her to feel included, you can extend the offer.
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    Does she want a job?  She's a job-searching single mother of a pre-teen, so she's probably pretty busy already.

    As pp said, invite her to go to appointments with you if you want to include her, but I wouldn't give her anything to do, especially something that requires her to pay money.

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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_low-costfree-respnsibilities-to-give-unemployed-mil?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:be99e382-7687-44b9-aef8-ac145d91c6b2Post:23e60a52-9f51-4e63-a44b-d728206a6e76">low cost/free respnsibilities to give unemployed MIL</a>:
    [QUOTE]My FH's single mom has been unemployed for over a year, she's really hard up on cash because she also has to care for his 10 year old little brother. I want so badly to include her in the planning and give her a job, to make her feel included, but I'm not sure what I can do that won't be a financial burden to her. Any advice or ideas on responsibilities I can assign her that won't make her feel like I pitty her, or like she has to spend a ton of money to get the job done?
    Posted by ladybug0225[/QUOTE]

    Ask her opinion on stuff. Opinions are free, right?
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    If she wants to help, she'll volunteer.  If not, understand that she probably has enough on her plate right now. 

    FWIW, not everyone wants to be "asigned" some little "project" in someone else's wedding.  I hate that crap.
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    a pity job sounds like it sucks, especially if you think she needs to volunteer her time to you to be happy.

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    I don't want to assign anything to her cause I think it's her duty, or i need all kinds of crazy help, or because i expect it. she wants to help. she asks me all the time what she can do, and she says money doesn't matter. i'm not trying to do this for me, i'm doing it for her, because she told me she feels like she hasn't had a purpose since she became unemployeed and this is a bright spot in her life right now.



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