what if he doesn't? this is why i advocate that up to a point, but sometimes adults have to handle their business.
Dear Amy: I've been married 29 years to a great guy, and we have two grown sons who are terrific.
My husband's sister is a meddler and complainer — and we are her target. She has (many times) called our sons and told them, "Your mother is doing this and that wrong," and the kids ignore her, but they are upset afterward.
I've told my husband to tell her to knock it off. He refuses, so I nicely told her that her complaining was inappropriate. I asked her to stop behaving this way around us. She said, "It's your problem."
Now my husband wants her to join us for Thankgiving (for the first time). We have a really nice group of 14 people who join us annually. I am saying "no way" — she meddles, trash talks, and complains too much. (His mother, long gone, would readily say, "Don't invite her!")
Here are our choices: Thanksgiving for five, with none of our usual group; or Thanksgiving for 15, and I guarantee several won't come the following year. I don't want her to hold us hostage. I also don't want her in our home. She has other good Thanksgiving options.
I'm pretty firm (and nice) with my "no way," but my husband is trying to get me to relent. He admits that he doesn't want her to come but she is insisting.
Other than inviting her, what do you suggest?
— Not Thankful